Three (2/3)

by Natsume Sōseki

When imagining this method of strangulation, one realizes that there are two ways. First, the telemachus ties one end of the rope to a pillar with the help of Yumius and Freeshus. Then, knots are made at various points along the rope, and the heads of women are placed one by one into those holes, pulling up one end to suspend them. "In other words, you can imagine the women hanging like shirts from a Western laundromat," he continues.

“That’s right. Then the second method is to tie one end of the rope to a pillar and suspend the other end high from the ceiling. From that high rope, several other ropes are lowered to create loops of knots, into which the women’s necks are placed. The mechanism is to remove the footstool for the women when the time comes,” he explains. “To put it another way, it would be like a scene where a lantern ball is hung from the end of a rope noren.”

“I’ve never seen a lantern ball, so I can’t say much, but if there is one, it would probably be something around here,” he continues. “Now, I will demonstrate that the first method does not hold up mechanically,” he says, to which Meitei replies, “That sounds interesting,” and the master agrees, “Yeah, interesting.”

“First, let’s assume that the women are suspended at the same height. Furthermore, let’s consider that the rope connecting the necks of the two women closest to the ground is horizontal. Let α1, α2…α6 be the angles that the rope forms with the horizon, and T1, T2…T6 be the forces acting on each part of the rope. Then, let T7=X be the force acting on the lowest part of the rope. W is, of course, the weight of the women. How about that, do you understand?”

Meitei and the master exchanged glances and said, "I roughly understand." However, this level of "roughly" was something the two had arbitrarily created and might not be applicable to others. "Now, according to the theory of average properties concerning polygons, the following twelve equations can be established. T1cosα1=T2cosα2…… (1) T2cosα2=T3cosα3…… (2) ……," he continued, and the master roughly said, "That should be enough equations." "Actually, this formula is the core of the speech," Kangetsu-kun looked disappointed. "Then, let's just ask about the core in order," Meitei said, looking a bit embarrassed. "If we skip this formula, the hard-earned mechanical research will be ruined..." "No need for such hesitation, just skip it as much as you want," the master said nonchalantly. "Then, following your words, I will skip it, though it's difficult," Kangetsu-kun said, and Meitei applauded, saying, "That's good."

“Then, when discussing it in England, I see the word gallows, or Garga, within Beowulf, so it seems that the punishment of hanging must have been practiced since this era. According to Blackstone's theory, if a criminal sentenced to hanging happens to not die due to the condition of the rope, they should receive the same punishment again. However, strangely enough, in Piyasu Purōman, there is a phrase stating that even for a vicious criminal, there is no law to hang them twice. I don’t know which is true, but it is often the case that one does not die from just one hanging. In 1786, there was a notorious villain named Hutsu Zerarudo who was hanged, but oddly enough, during the first attempt, the rope broke when he jumped off the platform. When they tried again, this time the rope was too long, and his feet touched the ground, so he still did not die. In the end, it is said that on the third attempt, the spectators helped him finally die,” he continued. “Good grief,” Meitei suddenly perked up at such a story. “What a truly unfortunate death,” the master said cheerfully. “There’s something even more interesting. They say that hanging can make you a little taller. This is certainly true, as doctors have measured it, so there’s no mistake,” he said. “That’s a new idea. How about we hang someone like Kusami for a bit? He might grow a little taller and become more human-like,” Meitei said, turning to the master, who surprisingly asked with a serious face, “Kangetsu-kun, is it possible to grow a little taller and come back to life?” “That won’t work. Being hanged stretches the spinal cord, so to put it simply, it breaks rather than grows,” he replied. “Well then, let’s just stop,” the master gave up.

The continuation of the speech was still long, and Kangetsu-kun intended to discuss even the physiological effects of hanging, but due to Meitei's indiscriminate interjections of strange words like a vagabond and the master occasionally yawning without restraint, he ultimately stopped midway and went home. That night, I had no way of knowing what kind of attitude Kangetsu-kun had or what kind of eloquence he displayed, as it was an event that occurred far away.

Two or three days passed without incident, but one afternoon around two o'clock, Meitei-sensei came in as usual with a vacant expression, almost like a child. Once seated, he suddenly said with the force of announcing the extra edition of the fall of Port Arthur, "Hey, did you hear about the Takawana incident involving Ochi Tōfu?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen you lately," the master replied in his usual gloomy voice.

"I came all the way here to report on that Tōfu's blunder story, even though I’m busy," Meitei continued.

"You're saying such exaggerated things again. You're really an outrageous man," the master scoffed. It was as if a pure natural recluse had returned.

"Last Sunday, it seems that Tōfu went to the Senkaku-ji Temple in Takanawa. In this cold weather, he really went. First of all, going to Senkaku-ji these days is like something a country bumpkin who doesn't know Tokyo would do," Meitei said.

"That's Tōfu's own business. You have no right to stop him," the master retorted.

"Indeed, I have no rights. Rights don't matter, but there is a spectacle called the Preservation Society of the Martyrs' Relics within that temple. Do you know about it?"

"No, I don't know."

"You don't know? But you've been to Senkaku-ji, right?"

"No, I haven't."

"Haven't? That's surprising. No wonder I thought you were defending Tōfu. It's pathetic for a person from Edo not to know Senkaku-ji," Meitei said.

"Even if I don't know, I can still be a teacher," the master continued to behave even more like a natural recluse.

“That's fine, but while Toko was observing at the exhibition, a German couple came. At first, they seemed to ask Toko something in Japanese. However, since the teacher was a man who couldn't help but want to use German, he started chatting away in a few sentences. Surprisingly, he did quite well. Looking back, that was the source of trouble,” Meitei continued.

“What happened next?” the host asked with interest.

“In the end, the Germans saw the maki-e inro by Ootaka Gen-go and asked if they could buy it. At that moment, Toko's response was interesting. He said that Japanese people are all honest gentlemen, so it was absolutely impossible. Up to that point, things were going well, but afterwards, the Germans kept asking questions as if they thought they had a translator,” Meitei continued.

“What did they ask?” the host inquired.

“Well, if I could understand it, there wouldn't be any worry, but they were asking questions rapidly and indiscriminately, so I couldn't grasp anything at all. Occasionally, when I thought I understood, they would ask about the tsuba and kake-ya. Since I had never learned how to translate Western tsuba and kake-ya, it was quite troublesome,” Meitei laughed.

“That's understandable,” the host showed sympathy for the teacher's situation.

“However, curious people gathered around, and eventually, Toko and the Germans were surrounded by onlookers from all sides. Toko turned red in the face, not knowing what to do, and the teacher looked very troubled,” Meitei continued.

“So what happened in the end?” the host asked again.

"In the end, it seems that the east wind could no longer hold back and said 'sayonara' in Japanese, and then came rushing back. When I thought 'sayonara' sounded a bit strange, I asked if in your country 'sayonara' is pronounced 'sainara,' and it turned out it was indeed 'sayonara.' However, since the other party was a Westerner, it was changed to 'sainara' to maintain harmony. I was impressed that the east wind child is a man who does not forget harmony even in difficult times," Meitei said with a laugh.

"While 'sainara' is fine, what about the Westerner?" the master asked.

"The Westerner seemed taken aback and was in a daze. Hahaha, isn't that amusing?" Meitei laughed.

"It doesn't seem particularly interesting. It's much more amusing that you went out of your way to report that," the master said as he dropped the ash from his rolled tobacco into the fire bucket.

At that moment, the bell of the lattice door rang out, and a sharp woman's voice was heard saying, "Excuse me." Meitei and the master instinctively exchanged glances and fell silent.

Feeling that it was rare for a female guest to come to the master's house, the owner of that sharp voice entered while rubbing her double-layered crepe against the tatami. She was probably just over forty. Her bangs soared high from her receding hairline, protruding about half the length of her face towards the heavens. Her eyes were steeply sloped like a steep hill, drawn straight up and opposing each other on either side. That straight line could aptly be described as thinner than a whale. Her nose, however, was absurdly large, appearing as if it had been stolen from someone else and affixed in the center of her face. It seemed to dominate the small garden of about three tsubo, like a stone lantern moved to a spirit shrine, yet it felt somewhat unsettling. This nose was what is called a "key nose," which once appeared to be as high as it could be, but was so large that it humbly drooped midway, peering down at the lips below. Due to this prominent nose, when this woman spoke, it seemed less like her mouth was speaking and more like her nose was doing the talking. To pay homage to this magnificent nose, I have since intended to call this woman "Hanako Hanako."

Hanako first finished her greeting upon meeting and looked around the room, saying, "What a splendid residence you have." The master thought to himself, "What a lie," while puffing away on his cigarette. Meitei, looking up at the ceiling, subtly prompted the master, saying, "Hey, is that a leak or the wood grain? There's a strange pattern appearing."

"Of course it's a leak," the master replied, to which Meitei calmly said, "That's nice." Hanako was internally indignant, thinking they were people who didn't understand social etiquette. For a while, the three of them sat in silence, forming a tripod of quiet.

"I came here because I wanted to ask you something," Hanako began again. "Yes," the master responded very coldly. Hanako was slightly surprised by this reaction and continued, "Actually, I live nearby—it's the house at the corner of that alley over there."

"It's the place where there is a large Western-style warehouse. Ah, it's only natural that there's a sign saying Kaneda," the master seemed to finally recall Kaneda's Western-style house and warehouse. However, his respect for Mrs. Kaneda remained thin. "Actually, a lodging has come up, and I would like to discuss that matter, but the company is very busy," Hanako said with a slightly confident look in her eyes.

However, the master was completely unfazed. Hanako's way of speaking was too bold for a woman meeting him for the first time, and he already felt discomfort. "There isn't just one company; I manage two or three. Moreover, I am an executive in every company—perhaps you already know," Hanako emphasized her position.

The master was a man who had very little respect for businessmen. He felt extremely humble towards doctors and university professors, but showed no interest in businessmen at all. He believed that middle school teachers were more admirable than businessmen. Even if a businessman held great power, he was convinced that he had no prospect of needing their help, and thus was completely indifferent to their interests.

As a result, he was very ignorant of fields other than academia, especially the business world, and had no idea who was doing what. Even if he did know, he felt no respect whatsoever. Hanako never dreamed that there were such oddities in the world. She had interacted with many people, but when she introduced herself as "Mrs. Kaneda," there was never a sudden change in treatment. No matter what kind of gathering she attended or in front of any high-ranking individuals, she could behave confidently as Mrs. Kaneda.

Moreover, she expected that when she said her house was the corner mansion in the alley over there to such a brooding old scholar, he would be surprised before even asking about her profession.

"Do you know Mr. Kaneda?" the master casually asked Meitei.

“Of course I know. Kaneda-san is a friend of my uncle. He was also at the garden party the other day,” Meitei replied with a serious expression.

“Oh, who is your uncle?” the host asked.

“It’s Baron Makiyama,” Meitei said, showing an even more serious expression.

At that moment, Hanako suddenly turned around and looked at Meitei. Meitei was wearing a combination of Oshima tsumugi and antique sarasa, trying to appear calm.

“Oh, you are Mr. Makiyama’s—what brings you here? I’m sorry, I didn’t know at all. We always talk about how much we owe to Mr. Makiyama at the inn,” Hanako suddenly became polite and even bowed. Meitei laughed, saying, “Wow, that’s interesting, hahaha.”

The host was surprised and stared at the two in silence. “I heard that you caused quite a bit of concern for Mr. Makiyama regarding your daughter’s marriage...”

“Oh, really?” Meitei replied, looking a bit surprised. “Actually, there have been various proposals, but due to our status, we can’t easily accept...”

“That’s quite understandable,” Meitei finally nodded, looking relieved. “I actually came to ask you about that,” Hanako suddenly returned to a serious tone, looking at the host. “I’ve heard that a man named Mizushima Kangu has been visiting you frequently, but who exactly is he?”

“What do you want to know about Kangu?” the host replied with a bitter expression.

“Is it about your daughter’s wedding? You want to know about Kangu’s character, right?” Meitei cleverly suggested.

“If I could know that, it would be a great help...”

“So, does that mean you want to give your daughter to Kangu?” the host asked sharply.

“It’s not that I want to,” Hanako suddenly puzzled the host. “There are various other matters to discuss, so there’s no need to force an acceptance.”

"Well then, I suppose there's no need to ask about Kanketsu," the master said desperately.

"But there's no reason to hide it, is there?" Hanako said, a bit confrontational. Meitei sat between the two, holding his silver pipe like a military fan, silently shouting in his heart, "Bagu, just stop it."

"So, did Kanketsu say that she definitely wants to receive it?" the master asked directly.

"I didn't say I wanted it..."

"Do you think you want it?" the master reacted to the woman's words.

"The conversation hasn't progressed that far, but Kanketsu wouldn't be unhappy about it, would she?" Hanako regained his composure at the edge of the ring.

"Is there any chance that Kanketsu is in love with your daughter?" the master asked challengingly.

"Well, that's the feeling, I suppose," Hanako answered confidently.

Meitei, who had been watching with interest until now, seemed to be stimulated by Hanako's words, putting down his pipe and leaning forward. "Did Kanketsu send a letter to your daughter? This is interesting; with the new year, another story has emerged to talk about," he was pleased with himself.

"It's not a letter; it's something more intense, both of you know about it, right?" Hanako said proudly.

"Do you know about it?" the master asked Meitei with a face that looked like a fox. Meitei also responded in a silly tone, "I don't know; if I did, it would be you," he humbly replied.

"No, both of you know about it," only Hanako wore a smug expression.

"Oh wow," the two said in unison, impressed.

"If you forget, I'll tell you. Last year at the end of the year, there was a concert at Mr. Abe's mansion in Mukojima, right? Didn't Mr. Kanketsu also go out? That night, something happened at Azumabashi on the way back— I won't go into details, as it might trouble the person involved—but I think that amount of evidence is enough, don't you?" said Hanako, placing a ring with diamonds on her lap and straightening her posture. His nose shone even more vividly, and both Meitei and the master seemed as if they didn't exist at all.

The master, of course, and even Meitei, couldn't hide their surprise at this sudden event, sitting there for a while in a daze. He looked like a patient suffering from a fever, but as the expression of shock softened, his original character began to return. Then, a ridiculous sensation surged over him all at once.

The two of them burst into laughter as if they had come to an agreement, "Hahaha!" However, only Hanako glared at them with a slightly displeased expression. "Is that the young lady? I see, this is good. You're right, Mr. Kusama, Kanketsu must really be in love with the young lady. Since there's no point in hiding it anymore, let's confess," he said.

"Uh-huh," the master remained silent.

"It's really not good to keep it hidden; there is proper evidence," Hanako continued proudly. "At this point, there's no helping it. I'll share the facts regarding Kanketsu for reference. Hey, Mr. Kusama, you're the master, but if you keep grinning like that, we won't make any progress. Secrets are truly terrifying things. No matter how much you hide them, they will be exposed from somewhere. —But it's strange, how did Mrs. Kaneda come to know this secret? It's surprising," Meitei kept talking to himself.

"I have no oversights on my side either," Hanako said confidently. "But it seems like there are too many oversights. Who on earth did you hear it from?"

"It's from the god of the car shop behind here," Hanako replied.

"Is it the car shop with the black cat?" the master asked, wide-eyed.

"Yes, I've been using Mr. Kangugetsu quite a lot. Every time Mr. Kangugetsu comes here, I wonder what kind of stories he tells, so I've been asking the god of the car shop to inform me each time," Hanako continued.

"That's terrible," the master exclaimed loudly. "It's not like I'm concerned about whatever you do. It's only about Mr. Kangugetsu."

"Even about Kangugetsu, or anyone else—overall, that god of the car shop is an unpleasant fellow," the master began to get angry by himself.

"But isn't it their own business to stand outside your fence? If you can't hear the conversation well, you should either speak in a smaller voice or go into a bigger house," Hanako said without showing any signs of embarrassment.

"It's not just the car shop. I've also heard various things from the master of the two-stringed koto on Shinmichi."

"About Kangugetsu?"

"It's not just about Mr. Kangugetsu," Hanako said somewhat intimidatingly. The master, surprised, then said, "That master acts so refined, as if only he has a human-like face, what a fool."

"Excuse me, it's a lady. 'Fellow' is completely off the mark," Hanako's choice of words increasingly revealed her true feelings. It was as if she had come to pick a fight, but Meitei, being Meitei, was listening to this exchange with interest, looking as if he were a Taoist immortal watching a cockfight, calmly leaning in to listen.

Realizing that he was no match for Hanako in this exchange of insults, the master had no choice but to remain silent for a while, but finally, as if he had just thought of something, he said, "You say it seems like you fell in love with the young lady from Kangugetsu's side, but the story I've heard is a bit different, right, Meitei-kun?" and sought help.

"Yeah, I feel like I heard that the young lady was the one who got sick first at that time," Meitei said.

"That's not true," Mrs. Kaneda said in a clear tone.

"Still, Kangugetsu certainly said he heard it from Dr. ○○'s wife," the master continued.

"That's our doing, you see. We asked Dr. ○○'s wife to try to get Kangugetsu's attention," Hanako explained.

"Did Dr. ○○'s wife agree to that knowing what it was about?"

"Yes, she agreed, but it wasn't for free. We're using various things for this and that," he replied.

"Is it your determination that you can't leave until you thoroughly inquire about Kangugetsu?" Meitei said, looking a bit displeased and using unusually harsh words.

"No, you see, it wouldn't hurt to talk. Let's talk, Kusama-kun—wife, both I and Kusama will share anything about Kangugetsu that isn't a problem. —Yes, it would be convenient if you could ask in order and gradually," he added.

Hanako finally understood and was about to ask a question. His slightly rough manner of speaking returned to the original polite tone when addressing Meitei. "I hear Kangugetsu is also a Bachelor of Science, but what exactly is his specialty?" he inquired.

"In graduate school, he is researching the Earth's magnetism," the master replied seriously. However, Hanako didn't understand its meaning, so he said, "Oh," but had a puzzled expression. "If you study that, can you become a doctor?" he asked, to which the master returned the question with a displeased look. "Are you saying you can't do it unless you become a doctor?"

"Yes. There are plenty of just Bachelors around," Hanako answered nonchalantly. The master looked at Meitei and made an increasingly unpleasant face. "We can't guarantee whether you will become a doctor or not, so let's ask about something else," Meitei also seemed to be in a bad mood.

“I wonder if you are studying something about that Earth recently?” asked Hanako, to which the master replied without a care, “A couple of days ago, I gave a lecture at the Physics Society on the results of my research on the mechanics of hanging.”

“Oh dear, hanging? You must be quite the eccentric. If you were doing something like hanging, you could never become a doctor,” said Hanako, and the master replied, “It’s difficult if the person hangs themselves, but it’s not impossible to become one with the mechanics of hanging.” “Is that so?” Hanako looked at the master this time, trying to gauge his expression. Unfortunately, she didn’t understand the meaning of mechanics and was unable to calm down.

However, thinking that asking further questions might affect Mrs. Kaneda’s reputation, she merely observed the other person’s expression and tried to gossip. The master’s face was stern. “Aren’t you studying anything else that’s easier to understand?”

“Well, the other day I discussed the stability of acorns and wrote a paper on how it relates to celestial movements,” the master said.

“Isn’t acorns something you study at university?” Hanako questioned, to which the master replied, “Well, I’m not an expert either, so I’m not sure, but since it’s something that Kanetsuki-kun is doing, it seems to have research value.” Meitei teased. Hanako seemed to give up on academic questions, so she changed the subject. “By the way—didn’t you break two of your front teeth eating shiitake mushrooms this New Year?”

“Yes, the chipped part had some kuya mochi stuck to it,” Meitei suddenly brightened, realizing this question was within his territory. “Aren’t you a bit lacking in charm? Why didn’t you use chopsticks?”

“I’ll be sure to remind you when we meet next time,” the master chuckled. “If your teeth chip from shiitake mushrooms, it must mean your teeth are in pretty bad shape, don’t you think?”

"I can't say it's good—hey, Meitei." "There's nothing good about it, but it has a bit of charm. It's strange that it still can't fit with just that. It's still a place for Kuya mochi, what a spectacle," Meitei said.

"Are you leaving it chipped because you don't have the money to fix your teeth, or are you just quirky enough to leave it that way?" Noseko asked, to which Meitei's mood gradually improved as he replied, "Well, there's no reason to claim that I have missing front teeth for a long time, so don't worry."

Noseko changed the subject again. "If you have any letters or anything written by the person, I would like to take a look." "I have plenty of notes, take a look," the host said, bringing out thirty or forty sheets from the study. "You don't need to see so many—just two or three of them..." "Let me choose a good one for you," Meitei said, pulling out a postcard, "This one is quite interesting."

"Oh, you can draw too, that's quite skillful. Let's see it," Noseko said while looking at it, but then exclaimed, "Oh no, it's a raccoon. Why would you choose to draw a raccoon of all things—yet it still looks like a raccoon, which is strange." "Read the text on it," the host said with a laugh, and Noseko began to read it like a maid reading a newspaper. "On the night of the old lunar year, the mountain raccoons hold a garden party and dance merrily. The song says, 'Come now, on this night, the mountain ladies won't come. Suppokopon no pon.'"

"What is this? It's making a fool of people," Noseko said, looking dissatisfied. "Don't you like this celestial maiden?" Meitei pulled out another card. It showed a celestial maiden wearing a feathered robe and playing the biwa. "Her nose seems a bit too small, though." "What, that's just average. Read the text instead of focusing on the nose," the host replied.

There is a saying: "Once upon a time, there was an astronomer. One night, as usual, he climbed up to a high platform and was intently gazing at the stars when a beautiful celestial maiden appeared in the sky and began to play a music so delicate that it could not be heard in this world. The astronomer became so entranced that he forgot the biting cold. In the morning, when he looked, frost was lying white upon the corpse of the astronomer. That old liar said this is a true story."

“What is this? It has no meaning at all, does it? Can one pass as a Bachelor of Science with this? It seems like something that would be good for a literary club,” said Kanguu-kun, feeling thoroughly defeated. Meitei, half in jest, presented a third piece. This time, it was printed with a woodblock of a sailboat, and as usual, there was something scribbled underneath. “The sixteen little girls who stayed overnight, since they had no parents, cried like the plovers on the rough shore, and like the plovers at dawn, their parents were sailors at the bottom of the waves.”

“How wonderful! I’m impressed, you can really talk!” “Can I really talk?” “Yes, with this, it will go well with the shamisen.” “If it goes well with the shamisen, it’s the real deal. How about this?” Meitei said recklessly. “No, having seen just this much, I understand that there’s plenty more and that it’s not so uncouth,” Hanako concluded to herself.

It seemed that Hanako had finished most of her questions regarding Kanguu, and she said, “I must sincerely apologize for this. Please keep my matters confidential from Kanguu-san.” It appeared to be her policy that she must inquire about everything concerning Kanguu, but she should not let Kanguu know anything about herself.

Meitei and the master both responded with a nonchalant "Huh," and as he stood up, he added, "I will thank you eventually." As soon as the two who had seen him off returned to their seats, Meitei said, "What was that?" The master echoed the same question, "What was that?" From the back room, it seemed that the lady could no longer hold back, and a muffled laugh was heard. Meitei called out loudly, "Madam, madam, a typical specimen has arrived. When it comes to typical things, they really do shake quite a bit at that level. Now, there's no need to hold back, please laugh to your heart's content!"