Geel's Smile

by Ryunosuke Akutagawa · 2026-09-21

But Geel, the president of the glass company, was undoubtedly a good-natured Kappa.

I often went with Geel to his club and had enjoyable nights. One reason was that the club was much more relaxing than the superhuman club to which Tok belonged.

Moreover, although Geel's stories might not have had the depth of the philosopher Mag's, they offered me a glimpse into an entirely new world—a vast world. Geel always cheerfully stirred his coffee cup with a pure gold spoon, telling various tales.

It was a night thick with fog. I was listening to Geel's stories, with a vase of winter roses between us. I remember the entire room, including the chairs and tables, was in a Secessionist style, with a white background and thin gold trim.

Geel, more triumphant than usual, with a face full of smiles, was talking about things like the Quorax Party cabinet, which held power at that time.

The word "Quorax" is just a meaningless exclamation, so it can only be translated as something like "Oh." Anyway, it was a political party that, above all else, advocated for "the interests of all Kappas."

Geel: The Quorax Party is dominated by the renowned politician Loppe. "Honesty is the best diplomacy" was said by Bismarck. But Loppe extends honesty even to domestic politics...

I: But Loppe's speeches are...

Ge-el: Now, listen to me. Those speeches are, of course, all lies. But everyone knows they are lies, so in the end, it's no different from being honest. To simply call them lies is merely your prejudice.

Ge-el: We Kappas, unlike you... But that doesn't matter. What I want to talk about is Roppe. Roppe controls the Kuorax Party, and Roppe is controlled by Kuikui, the president of Pou-Fou Newspaper.

(This word 'Poo-hoo' is also a meaningless exclamation. If I had to translate it, it would just be 'Ah.')

Ge-el: But Kuikui isn't his own master either. The one who controls Kuikui is this Ge-el, standing before you.

I: But—and this might be rude—Poo-hoo Newspaper is a pro-labor newspaper, isn't it? For its president, Kuikui, to be under your control...

Ge-el: Of course, the reporters of Poo-hoo Newspaper are pro-labor. But there would be no one controlling the reporters other than Kuikui. Furthermore, Kuikui cannot survive without the patronage of this Ge-el.

Ge-el still smiled, toying with the pure gold spoon like a toy. Watching him, I felt pity for the Poo-hoo Newspaper reporters rather than hatred for Ge-el himself.

Then, as if Ge-el immediately sensed that sympathy from my silence, he puffed out his large belly and said:

Ge-el: Oh, not all Poo-hoo Newspaper reporters are pro-labor. At least we Kappas side with ourselves before siding with anyone else... But what's even more troublesome is that even this Ge-el himself is also controlled by someone else.

Ge-el: Who do you think that is? It's my wife. The beautiful Mrs. Ge-el.

Ge-el laughed loudly.

Me: That would rather be a happy thing.

Geel: Anyway, I am satisfied. But even this, I can only openly boast about in front of you—in front of you who are not a Kappa.

Me: Then it seems the Kuorax cabinet is ultimately controlled by Mrs. Geel.

Geel: Well, one could say that... But a war like the one seven years ago, it must have been started because of some female.

Me: A war? There was a war in this country too?

Geel: Of course there was. And who knows when there might be another. As long as there are neighboring countries, anyway...

I actually realized for the first time then that the Kappa's country was not isolated as a nation. According to Geel's explanation, the Kappa always consider otters their imaginary enemies. Moreover, the otters are said to possess military power no less than the Kappa.

I found the story of the war the Kappa waged against these otters quite interesting. (After all, the fact that the Kappa's formidable enemy is the otter is a new fact that neither the author of "Suiko Kōryaku" nor even Mr. Kunio Yanagita, the author of "Sandō Mindan-shū," seemed to know.)

Geel: Before that war broke out, of course, both countries were not letting their guard down, quietly observing each other. Both were equally afraid of the other.

Geel: Then one otter from this country visited a certain Kappa couple. The female of that couple intended to kill her husband. After all, her husband was a philanderer. And the life insurance might have been a bit of a temptation too.

Me: Do you know that couple?

Ge-el: “Yes—no, I only know the males. My wife talks about the kappas as if they’re villains. But to me, rather than villains, they’re delusional maniacs with severe paranoia, terrified of being caught by females.”

Geel: “...So the female put cyanide in her husband’s cocoa cup. But somehow, she mistook it and ended up having the otter, who was a guest, drink it. The otter, of course, died. And then...”

Me: “So that’s why the war started?”

Geel: “Yes, coincidentally, that otter had a medal.”

Me: Which side won the war?

Geel: Of course, this country won. Three hundred sixty-nine thousand five hundred kappas bravely died for it. But compared to the enemy nation, that level of loss is nothing. Most of the fur in this country is otter fur.

Geel: During that war, besides making glass, I also sent coal ash to the battlefield.

Me: What is coal ash used for?

Geel: Of course, it's used as food. We, kappas, are made to eat anything when we're hungry.

Me: That is—please don't be angry. For the kappas on the battlefield, that would be... a scandal in our country.

Geel: It's certainly a scandal in this country too. But if I myself go around saying this, no one will make it a scandal. Didn't the philosopher Mag say, 'Speak your own evil. Evil will naturally disappear.' ...Besides, I was burning with patriotism, not just profit.

Just then, the club attendant entered. The attendant bowed respectfully to Ge-el, then spoke as if giving a recitation:

“There’s a fire next door to your residence.”

Geel: “F-fire!”

Ge-el was startled and jumped up. Of course, I also stood up. But the errand boy calmly added the next words.

"But I've already put it all out."

Ge-el saw the errand boy off, making an expression that was half crying, half laughing.

Only after seeing that face did I realize that I had somehow come to dislike this glass company president. But now Ge-el was not a big capitalist or anything, but merely a kappa standing there.

I pulled a winter rose from the vase and handed it to Ge-el.

I: Even though the fire is out, your wife must have been very surprised. Here, take this and go back.

Ge-el: Thank you.

Ge-el took my hand. Then, suddenly, he grinned and whispered in a small voice:

Ge-el: The house next door is my rental property. I can at least get the fire insurance money.

I still vividly remember Geel's smile from that time, a smile I could neither despise nor hate.