Dogra Magra (15/47)

by Hisashi Yumeno

"Everyone, you must not speak to them."

They are experts in reflex-sympathetic techniques, chosen from every cell in their bodies. Therefore, just like the women at ordinary exchanges, they are constantly called upon, make calls, switch, and reconnect, without knowing what they are reflex-sympathizing, and without a moment's rest. Whether the cabinet changes, a war begins, a major earthquake or fire occurs, it's hot or cold, a bee stings their head, or their backside is on fire, they have no time to worry about such things. They are like machines that simply reflex-sympathize such consciousness, judgment, and sensations with their entire bodies.

Therefore, you must not speak to them. You must not make them think. You must not give them extra work and tire them out doubly.

The less they think about other things, and the more single-mindedly they focus on the simple work of reflex-sympathizing, the more agile and swift their entire body's reflex-sympathetic function becomes. Their heads don't get tired, don't flicker, and their brains become clear.

How simple and clear it is. The head becomes like an imbecile, completely blank.

I, as Director Anpontan Pokan, declare this: In the simple and clear reflex sympathetic organization of this brain bureau, if the brains of those Anpontans whose minds have become clear and whose consciousness has become refreshed, they will never again fall for the tricks of the brain. They will no longer think with their brains. And, standing at the forefront of cutting-edge brain science, they will be able to instantly "Anpontan Pokan-ize" all mysterious phenomena related to the brain. You will once again have no choice but to bow your heads to my name, Anpontan Pokan, who has so accurately investigated and exposed the true nature of this great demon "Brain," which holds the fate of human culture.

However, some of you may still not bow your heads.

With this explanation alone, there may be scholars scratching their heads over various strange and inexplicable phenomena related to mental illness and the supernatural.

“Excellent, very good.”

It is precisely such people who are fit to discuss the strange with us. We must thoroughly dumbfound and stupefy the brain, the greatest mystical entity on this earth, the protagonist of all erotica, grotesqueries, and nonsense.

“Excellent, very good.”

I would like such people to bow their heads once more and return to the grand entrance of the Brain Bureau. Please read the "Brain Bureau, Stupefied Reflex Sympathetic Operations, Membership Agreement" posted here.

How about it, everyone? This agreement has only three articles. It is extremely simple, less than a tenth of the membership agreement of an ordinary telephone exchange. Moreover, these three articles are observed to an absurdly extreme degree by the thirty trillion cells of the human body as unwritten laws inherited from their ancestors. If you can simply understand these three easy articles, you can become a distinguished doctor of brain studies. You will be able to effortlessly discern how trivial the true nature behind all the incomprehensible, ironic, abusive, nonsensical, and terrifying dramas unfolding on Earth concerning the brain truly is.

◇Article 1: Reports from the Brain Bureau via reflex sympathy, even if not factual, shall be believed as fact and remembered.

People who dream of a thief breaking in and wake up the whole house with a loud shout are governed by this first article.

◇Article 2: If there is no reflex sympathy from the Brain Bureau, even if it is something one has done oneself, it shall not be recognized as fact and shall not be retained in memory.

People who insist, "I don't remember snatching your futon last night," are honest individuals who strictly adhere to this Article 2.

These two clauses are the rules that cause the "sleepwalking state," which is a major question in the current psychiatric community. Of course, they are common in ordinary people, and the wording is concise and easy to remember, but the third clause seems a little complicated. However, its meaning is very clear, just like the previous two clauses. That is...

"If an abnormality occurs in the brain's reflex sympathetic function, utilize the reflex sympathetic action of all cells in the body other than the brain as a substitute for the brain, similar to lower animals without a brain."

This is a rule that can be called an emergency measure for the brain. Furthermore, the trick that his "thinking brain" has used to create all sorts of super-scientific or super-explanatory strange phenomena such as ghosts, specters, hallucinations, mental disorders, crying fits, laughing fits, somnambulism, and twilight states, and has bewildered the brains of scientists all over the world, was actually the misuse of this simple and clear third clause. That is,

◇Article 3: If a malfunction occurs in the reflex sympathetic function of a brain region, a certain consciousness that was reflexively sympathetic at the location where the malfunction occurred can sever its connection with other consciousnesses, and use the reflex sympathetic action that all cells of the body have possessed since their origin, independently of the brain's reflex sympathetic action, to sense, judge, consider, and control the entire body to move, preceding other consciousnesses.

There are rules regarding the brain. In urgent situations, such as unconsciously closing one's eyes or recoiling, or when under anesthesia, or when the entire brain's reflex function is stopped, unconscious actions or speech may appear. And when the brain enters an abnormally deep sleep, one may walk around in a dream, talk in one's sleep, or grind one's teeth. These three states require particular attention.

I strongly advise all students to jot this down in their notebooks before you forget it. This third rule is fundamental to cerebral hygiene, and the nervous breakdowns you experience are nothing more than illnesses stemming from this very rule. In fact, many who claim to be cultured individuals fall prey to this third rule, leading to states of mental bankruptcy and ruin.

This is not for any other reason. The brain's reflex functions are constructed with such delicacy that they are highly susceptible to various malfunctions. Since repairing these malfunctions is not easy, such emergency rules have been established.

Furthermore, the most suitable examples to prove the existence of the emergency rule for reflex functions in the brain, namely the third rule, are phenomena such as "laughter apoplexy" and "crying apoplexy." When a specific part of the brain, for instance, the "laughter center," becomes paralyzed due to a cerebral hemorrhage, the "current of laughter" that was reflexively generated loses connection with other consciousness, and the cells throughout the body ignore that current and start laughing on their own. This leaves no room for other emotions to emerge. This is what is commonly known as "laughter apoplexy," and "anger apoplexy" and "crying apoplexy" occur based on the same principle.

Of course, since this is a malfunction caused by cerebral hemorrhage, it would be immediately apparent upon pathological dissection. It would be clear at a glance, "This is where the laughter current is transmitted." However, visible brain malfunctions are exceptional, and the types of strange phenomena caused by invisible malfunctions are countless. From erotic and grotesque to nonsensical phenomena, they wander day and night from the backside of scientific civilization to its basements.

Moreover, isn't it interesting that each of these strange phenomena proves an invisible brain malfunction?

First and foremost, it is regrettable that modern individuals, those with "brains that think," are unaware of the existence of these emergency rules, Article 3, between the brain and the cells of the entire body. They have a habit of forcing the brain to think, saying, "No matter how much you use your brain, it won't diminish." They are trying to make the brain think, oblivious to the fact that the brain is not a place for thinking, but rather a place with simple reflexive functions.

Therefore, you probably cannot imagine how much the brain's switchboard operators are burdened with their duties. This excessive burden is creating a whirlwind of hallucinations, illusions, and perverted notions.

The facts are before your eyes. When you think too much with your brain, the entire brain tissue heats up, like a coil through which an electric current has passed, and its reflexive functions weaken. Then, the consciousness contained within the cells of the entire body loses contact with each other, and each begins to act independently. This becomes a light, semi-conscious somnambulism, endlessly traversing the space of consciousness created by the cells of the entire body. The unstoppable fantasies and delusions you experience when you are deep in thought come from this state. And when the brain becomes tired and falls asleep, the communication between consciousnesses gradually ceases. This transformation into incoherent dreams is something you likely experience when you are falling asleep while reading a novel, or when you are nodding off in a classroom or on a train.

People in ancient times were deeply superstitious, and when walking in the dark, they would exhaust their brains from fear, falling into various hallucinations and distorted perceptions. Such visions and sensations have been passed down as stories of ghosts and monsters, but those who laugh at these cannot be called modern individuals with nerves. They cannot be counted among the gentlemen and ladies who carry around nerve tonics, sleeping pills, or sedatives.

People living amidst the hustle and bustle of the city find their brains exhausted even in the bright light of midday, with various forms of consciousness and judgment becoming detached. Their entire nervous system reacts, making them feel as if they are aimlessly wandering in a dream. When they pass near a large chimney, they feel as if it might fall on their head, prompting them to quicken their pace. While sleeping, they feel as if the sound of a train is echoing by their pillow, making them want to turn on a light. Strange phenomena, such as a stove yawning, an egg yolk rolling its eyes in a dish, a red mailbox seen on the way home last night having moved, a bread oven sighing late at night, a white hand appearing from a desk drawer and beckoning, or a pistol firing "bang" at oneself, occur one after another in scientific culture. All of these are nothing more than malfunctions of reflexes caused by brain fatigue, meaning consciousness is wandering in a dream-like state.

Now, such mental abnormalities are actually quite common among you as well. Many people are vaguely aware of their own mental state, so carelessly treating them as insane could actually worsen their symptoms. For this reason, they are intentionally not counted among the mentally ill, but if this condition progresses one step further, it can no longer be ignored. It becomes a madness adorned with gold leaf, and even in red-brick apartment living, one acquires the qualification of needing a guard.

There were many such people in the psychiatry department classroom at Kyushu Imperial University, where I have been working. When they were brought out to the podium one after another, and I listened to the head, Dr. Masaki, lecture the students, it was as if he was speaking exactly what I was thinking, and I found it endlessly fascinating.

“...Ahem... The human brain is like a complex sphere that reflects the consciousness of all the body's cells and creates a single focal point. The way the brain simultaneously illuminates the consciousness of thirty trillion cells throughout the body is like a dragonfly's eye surveying the entire world. Now, the mind is formed by the brain's moment-by-moment reflections, and a person's individuality and characteristics are nothing more than an accumulation of psychological processes inherited from their ancestors. The countless psychological habits experienced by ancestors are unified by the brain's reflective action, maintaining harmony and forming a focal point, which is what we call a normal human being. However, each person's psychological processes have different quirks, and if these quirks are passed down uncorrected from ancestors, they can worsen over generations. For example, if a woman inherits the habit of obsessing over one thing, when she falls in love with a particular man, she will constantly think about wanting to meet him, see him, and be with him, whether she's awake or asleep. As a result, the part of the brain that was reflecting this longing consciousness becomes exhausted, and gradually that consciousness detaches, solidifying into fantasies and delusions, and beginning a kind of obsessive wandering. She starts to imagine his face day and night and even speaks it aloud. When this happens, the part that controlled that longing consciousness becomes even more exhausted, the consciousness completely detaches and begins to act independently, and the degree of madness deepens. She will rush outside, be restrained, and shake iron bars in a frenzy...”

This is the process by which ordinary people ordinarily go mad, and those who possess even a slight tendency towards this are normal people, while those who possess more are called so-called mentally ill individuals. Therefore, people referred to as invention fanatics, research fanatics, or collection fanatics are, to varying degrees, all undoubtedly part of this group. With early intervention, some can be saved, but if they progress to full-blown somnambulism, the situation takes on an entirely different character. Of course, it is undoubtedly a type of mental illness, but their activities are more astonishing than those of ordinary madmen. However, the person themselves is no different from an ordinary person; rather, it is a rare disease found among exceptionally good people who might be a little dull due to a nasal ailment or something similar, or whose minds are extremely delicate and overly academic, or who are too timid to even harm an insect, and thus can never be called "crazy." Nevertheless, when that person rises in the middle of the night and performs actions more bizarre and cruel than a madman, it becomes an increasingly astonishing and interesting situation.

The conscious state of such a person while awake is no different from that of an ordinary person. The consciousness of all cells in the body is uniformly harmonized by the brain's reflex actions. However, as day turns to night and night deepens, that person's brain completely ceases activity and enters a state of deep sleep. This deep sleep differs from that of an ordinary person; it far exceeds the depth of normal sleep, approaching the world of death. In other words, they fall into a state akin to a dead person, from which they can never be awakened by ordinary calls or loud noises. This is the characteristic of a somnambulist.

As sleep deepens in this way, inevitably one or two consciousnesses within the body's cells, unable to fall into deep sleep, emerge. These late-sleeping consciousnesses, much like how the foreground brightens as the background darkens, awaken vividly within the deep sleep and begin various activities.

For example, suppose a person falls asleep while strongly holding a particular emotion or will. If they close their eyes thinking, "I want that diamond," or "I want to kill that hateful person," then when the brain eventually falls into the depths of deep sleep, only that consciousness awakens among the cells sleeping with the brain. And that consciousness loses contact with conscience, common sense, and reason, rising in a one-sided state, and begins to use the reflex actions of all the body's cells in place of the brain. In this way, it makes decisions on its own as needed, and while evoking sensations, it sees, hears, thinks, and acts as desired. It might steal the desired diamond or kill the hated person, but since such actions are not impressions that passed through the brain, they leave no memory at all. Even after waking up, the person returns to their usual innocent self, as if nothing had happened. Even if shown the stolen diamond or the corpse of the person killed, they cannot confess what they do not know, and only return to an even more innocent state.

Instead, during somnambulism, all the cells of the body simultaneously take on the role of the brain and their respective specialized roles, so it is common to feel an unusual sense of fatigue after waking up. This logic can be easily understood from the fact that it is exactly the same as when only the brain is anesthetized using drugs. However, since the fatigue after this anesthesia and the fatigue after somnambulism are of the same nature, it is difficult to distinguish them, and it can become a very interesting forensic research topic.

A prime example of this is the young man standing here now, listening to my lecture. Some of you might know him. While I cannot disclose his address or name, he took the entrance examination for this university when he had just turned twenty, in the spring, and passed with the highest marks. However, tragically, he was afflicted by a somnambulistic seizure inherited from his ancestors and strangled his own bride on the eve of their wedding. Furthermore, he is truly a rare hero, as he also suffered the same seizure at the age of sixteen and strangled his own mother. However, after coming to this classroom and undergoing my unique treatment, he seems to have gradually regained his sanity. Recently, he started ruffling his hair and tapping above his ears, saying, "What's going on here?" And sometimes, he begins to deliver a 'brain speech' in the classroom, which is very amusing because it repeats exactly what I taught him, from beginning to end. I even go to listen to it sometimes for reference. Such a person's memory is astonishing, beyond imagination. This is because he is completely severed from past memories by intense somnambulistic seizures, so his memory of current events floats in absolute freedom, undisturbed by anything. Therefore, once he concentrates his attention, he can remember even the most minute details with superhuman accuracy. However, normally, he has a startled expression, like a creature that has just crawled out of an egg, which is why he has earned the honorific title of "Dr. Absent-minded Pokan."

When Professor Masaki reached this point in his lecture, the students all looked at me and burst out laughing. I, in a daze, fled the mental hospital. And now, standing here at this crossroads, as I observe the abnormalities in your brains, I simply cannot ignore them, and so I have decided to issue this warning. I have decided to boldly publish the Pokan-style brain theory, transcending time and space.