The Moon over the Mountain (1)

by Atsushi Nakajima · 2026-03-31

Li Zheng of Longxi was a learned and talented young man. In the late years of Tianbao, he achieved fame early by having his name listed on the imperial examination roll and was appointed as the Jiangnan Wei. However, his personality was stubborn, and his self-confidence was extremely strong. He disdained living as a lowly official, and after a short while, he resigned from his post and returned to his hometown, dedicating himself solely to poetry. He resolved that rather than kneeling before vulgar high officials, he would leave his name as a poet for a hundred years after his death.

However, his literary reputation did not rise quickly, and his life became increasingly difficult day by day. Li Zheng gradually began to feel anxious, and his appearance grew gaunt. His flesh wasted away, and his bones became prominent; there was no trace of the handsome youth he once was when he passed the imperial examination. Several years later, unable to endure poverty, he once again headed east for the sake of his wife and children, taking up a position as a local official. This was also partly because he had become half-despairing of his poetic endeavors. It is not difficult to imagine how deeply the pride of the former prodigy, Li Zheng, was wounded by the situation where his former peers had already risen to high positions, and he had to take orders from those he had once ignored. He could not find enjoyment, and his increasingly erratic personality became uncontrollable.

A year later, while on a journey for official business, he finally went mad when he stayed overnight by the Ru River. One midnight, his face suddenly changed color, and he rose from his bed, shouting incomprehensible things as he ran out into the darkness. He never returned. Even after searching the surrounding mountains and fields, no clues were found. After that, no one knew what became of Li Zheng.

The following year, a censor named Yuan, on his way to Lingnan by imperial decree, stayed overnight in Shangyu. The next morning, as he was about to depart while it was still dark, the station official told him that there were man-eating tigers on the road ahead, and travelers could only pass in broad daylight. He was advised to wait a little longer as it was still early morning, but Yuan, relying on his large retinue, ignored the station official's words and set off.

Relying on the light of the waning moon, as he advanced through the grassland in the forest, a fierce tiger indeed leaped out from the thicket. The tiger seemed about to pounce on Yuan, but immediately turned around and hid back in the original thicket. From within that thicket, a human voice repeatedly echoed, "That was a close call." Yuan recognized that voice. In a mix of surprise and terror, he instantly realized and shouted, "Is that not my friend, Li Zheng?"

Yuan had passed the imperial examination in the same year as Li Zheng, and for Li Zheng, who had few friends, Yuan was his closest companion. Perhaps Yuan's gentle nature did not clash with Li Zheng's stern disposition.

For a while, there was no reply from within the thicket. Only faint, sobbing-like sounds occasionally leaked out. Presently, a low voice answered, "Indeed, I am Li Zheng of Longxi."

Yuan forgot his fear, dismounted his horse, and approached the thicket, his heart filled with nostalgia as he rejoiced at their long-awaited reunion. He then asked why Li Zheng would not come out of the thicket. Li Zheng's voice replied, "I am now in the form of a different creature. How could I expose my shameful appearance before an old friend? Furthermore, if I were to show myself, I would surely cause you to feel fear and revulsion. However, I am so glad to have met you by chance now, so nostalgic that I forget my shame. Please, for just a little while, would you not mind my ugly appearance and speak with your former friend Li Zheng?"

Looking back, it was strange, but at that moment, Yuan readily accepted this supernatural event and did not doubt it in the least. He ordered his subordinates to halt the procession and stood by the thicket himself, beginning a dialogue with the unseen voice. After discussing rumors of the capital, news of old friends, and Li Zheng's congratulations on Yuan's current position, all in the unreserved tone of close friends from their youth, Yuan asked how Li Zheng had come to be in his current state. The voice from the grass spoke as follows:

About a year ago, I recall a night when I was on a journey and stayed by the Ruishui River. I woke up in the middle of the night and heard someone calling my name from outside. Guided by the voice, I went out, and the voice inviting me echoed from the darkness. Before I knew it, I was running after that voice in a trance.

As I ran, I somehow entered a mountain forest, and unknowingly, I was scrambling with both hands on the ground. I felt as if my body was filled with strength, and I easily leaped over rocks. Suddenly, I noticed that hair seemed to be growing on my fingertips and elbows. When I saw my reflection in the stream water after it became a little brighter, I had already become a tiger.

At first, I couldn't believe my eyes. Then, I thought this must be a dream. I had experienced dreams where I realized "this is a dream" while dreaming. However, when I had to accept that it was definitely not a dream, I was bewildered. And then, fear overwhelmed me. I deeply feared, thinking that anything at all could happen. Yet, I had no idea why this had happened. We are destined to accept things without understanding them, and to live without knowing the reasons.

I immediately thought of death. However, at that moment, the instant I saw a rabbit dart past me, the human within me suddenly vanished. When I awoke again, my mouth was stained with rabbit blood, and rabbit fur was scattered around me. This was my first experience as a tiger. Since then, I cannot possibly recount what actions I have continued to perform. However, for several hours each day, my human mind returns. At those times, I can speak human language, engage in complex thoughts, and recite passages from scriptures, just as in my former days.

The moments when I reflect on my cruel deeds as a tiger with this human heart are the most pathetic, terrifying, and infuriating. However, the few hours I spend returning to being human are gradually shortening as the days pass. Until now, I used to wonder why I became a tiger, but recently, I suddenly found myself thinking about why I was human before. This is terrifying. In a little while, the human heart within me will be completely buried and disappear under the habits of a beast, just like the foundation of an old palace gradually gets buried in the earth. If that happens, I will forget my past, roam around madly as a tiger, and even if I meet you like today, I will not recognize you as an old acquaintance, and I will feel no remorse even if I tear you apart and eat you.

In the first place, weren't both beasts and humans originally something else? At first, they remember it, but gradually forget it, and come to believe that they were always in their current form from the beginning? No, that doesn't matter. If the human heart within me completely disappears, perhaps I will be happier. However, the human within me feels this to be the most terrifying thing imaginable. Oh, how terrifying, sad, and poignant it must feel! To lose the memory of being human. No one can understand this feeling. No one can understand it, except for someone who has experienced the same fate as me.

By the way, yes. Before I completely cease to be human, there is one thing I want to ask of you.

Yuan and his party listened breathlessly to the strange tale told by the voice in the thicket. The voice continued.

"It's nothing else. I originally intended to make a name for myself as a poet. However, before my work was complete, I met this fate. I once wrote hundreds of poems, and of course, they have not yet been published. The whereabouts of my manuscripts are probably unknown by now. However, there are dozens of them that I still remember. I want you to transcribe them for me. It's not that I want to pretend to be a full-fledged poet by doing this. The skill of the works doesn't matter. Anyway, if I don't pass on even a part of what I clung to throughout my life to later generations, I won't be able to die in peace."

Yuan ordered his subordinate to take up a brush and write down what the voice from the thicket dictated. Li Zheng's voice resounded clearly from the thicket. There were about thirty poems, long and short, all of them elegant in style and brilliant in conception, making one realize the author's extraordinary talent upon reading them. However, while Yuan admired them, he vaguely felt the following: "Certainly, there is no doubt that the author's aptitude belongs to the first rank. But as they are, aren't they lacking something in a very subtle way to become first-rate works?"

Li Zheng's voice, having finished reciting the old poem, suddenly changed its tone and spoke as if mocking himself.

"It's shameful, but even now, in this miserable state, I sometimes dream of my poetry collection being placed on the desks of the refined gentlemen of Chang'an. I dream it while lying in a cave. Laugh at me. A pathetic man who failed to become a poet and turned into a tiger." (Yuan listened sadly, recalling the young Li Zheng's habit of self-mockery.) Yes. While you're laughing, shall I express my current feelings in an impromptu poem? As proof that the former Li Zheng still lives within this tiger.

Yuan again ordered his subordinate to transcribe it. The poem read: