4-1

by 太宰治

My trust was rewarded in a more wonderful way than I had anticipated. At the quiet hour of four o'clock, the voice of the clerk suddenly echoed from the corridor speakers.

"Please listen, just as you are, in that position, relaxed." His voice continued, "Regarding the assistants' makeup, which has been a problem for some time, the assistants have voluntarily offered to discontinue it as of today."

From the "Swan Room" next door, cheers erupted. The special announcement continued,

"After dinner tonight, they will remove their makeup, and by the friction time of 7:30 PM at the latest, they will meet with the students in simple attire that will not cause misunderstanding among the American guests. Also, Assistant Makita wishes to offer a word of apology to all the students. Please, understand Makita's pure intentions."

Makita was that Peacock. He cleared his throat slightly and,

opened his mouth with, "As for me,"

From the next room, a burst of laughter erupted. In our room, everyone was listening with a smirk.

"I," his voice was as thin and delicate as a cricket's, "have done something regrettable, without regard for time or place, and despite being the eldest. I deeply apologize. Please continue to guide me in the future."

"Good, good," a voice came from the next room.

"Poor thing," Kappore said somberly, glancing at me sideways. My chest ached a little.

"Finally," the clerk took over, "this is a request from all the assistants: they wish for Makita's traditional nickname to be changed immediately. This concludes today's special broadcast."

From the "Swan Room," a circular board was immediately passed around.

"Everyone is satisfied. We appreciate Hibari's efforts. Peacock should be renamed 'As for me.'"

Kappore immediately opposed the suggestion. He said that giving him the nickname "As for me" was too cruel.

"Isn't that cruel? He said it with all his might, even then. Didn't he ask me to understand his pure feelings? It's like 'look at the birds flying in the sky.' Isn't it about universal benevolence? If you curse someone, you dig two graves. I'm absolutely against it. It's like a peacock removing its makeup to show its black skin, so it should be renamed to 'crow' or something."

That opinion was, on the contrary, scathing and cruel. It was useless.

"Since the peacock has become simple, let's just omit one character from 'peacock' and call it 'sparrow'," Echigo said, chuckling.

Even "sparrow" made a little sense and wasn't very interesting, but it was the elder's opinion, so I wrote on the circulating board that "'Watakushi koto' is too harsh, and 'sparrow' is not appropriate," and gave it to Kappore. In the "Swan Room," nicknames were pouring in from various rooms, but it might eventually settle on "Watakushi koto." The way the peacock cleared its throat slightly at that time and began with "Watakushi koto" was somehow endearing and unforgettable. Any nickname other than "Watakushi koto" felt faded in comparison.

At seven o'clock, the time for friction, Kintoto, Ma-bo, Kakuran, and Take-san each came to the "Sakura Room" carrying a metal basin. Take-san came straight to me with a composed expression. Kintoto and Ma-bo had been singled out as individuals to watch regarding their makeup, and when they came to our room that night, while their hairstyles seemed slightly different, they still appeared to be wearing some kind of makeup.

"Maa-bou still seems to be wearing lipstick, doesn't he?" I whispered to Take-san. Take-san began rubbing with a swish-swish sound, and said,

"Even that was a big fuss, wiping and washing a lot. It's impossible to expect them to change all at once. They're young, you know."

"Your work, Take-san, is truly remarkable."

"The stable master had warned us many times before. He heard today's broadcast from the office and was in a good mood. He asked whose idea today's broadcast was, so when I said it was Hibari's invention, he said, 'What a delightful child,' and that stable master, who never laughs, was grinning." Even Take-san, perhaps a little excited by today's lipstick incident, was more talkative than usual.

"It wasn't my invention," I said. The outcome of a military achievement must be made clear.

"It's the same thing. If Hibari hadn't said anything, I wouldn't have thought of acting either. No one would willingly play the role of being hated."

"Was I hated?"

"No," she said, shaking her head with her characteristic cool smile. "I wasn't hated, but it was hard for me."

"Kujaku's greeting was a bit hard for me too."

"Yes. Makida-san, that person offered to let me greet them herself. She's a good person with no ill will. She seems to be bad at makeup, but I also wear a little lipstick, you can't tell, can you?"

"Oh, so you're an accomplice?"

"It's fine if you can't tell," she said with a calm expression, continuing to rub with a swishing sound.

She's a woman, I thought. And for the first time since coming to this dojo, I found Take-san adorable. Even a large sea bream shouldn't be underestimated.

How about it, my friend? I once again recommend that you visit this dojo. There is one woman here who is worthy of respect. This is neither mine nor yours. This is the only treasure Japan can now boast to the world. To say that might be a bit of an exaggeration, and I'm even a little embarrassed by it myself, but there are few young women who inspire affection without any hint of flirtation. You, too, should no longer feel any flirtation towards Take-san. I believe it's only affection. Herein lies the victory of us new men. The camaraderie between men and women, based solely on trust and affection, is something only we can understand. It is a divinely given fruit that only the so-called new men can savor. If you desire this pure delight, young poet, I urge you to visit this dojo.

You may have already experienced the beauty around you, but for me, it was a special day.

October 20th.

Yesterday's visit was truly delightful. The bouquet you brought me is a treasure. For Take-san and Ma-bou, I brought a small red English dictionary each as a souvenir. I could feel your kindness, typical of a poet, and I was especially grateful that you thought of Take-san and Ma-bou.

I received a cigarette case and a bamboo craft of the Fuji Musume from those two, but I was a little flustered. I was worried in the back of my mind that I might have to give something in return, so I was relieved when you thoughtfully brought souvenirs. It seems you have a newer side than I do. I feel a slight resistance to receiving or giving gifts to women. Perhaps it's a bit of an old-fashioned way of thinking. I wished I could give and receive gifts as smoothly as you do. I felt as if I had learned another important lesson from you. It was a moment when I felt your refreshing virtue.

When Ma-bo said, "You have a visitor," and led you to my room, my heart pounded as if it were bleeding internally. The joy of seeing your face was immense, but even more so, I couldn't hide my surprise at seeing you and Ma-bo walking together, laughing as if you were old friends. It was like a scene from a fairy tale. I remember feeling a similar emotion last spring.

That spring, immediately after graduating from junior high school, I contracted pneumonia and was delirious with a high fever. When I happened to glance at my bedside, I saw Principal Kimura and my mother laughing and talking about something. It was strange to see two people from completely different worlds—school and home—talking at my bedside as if they were old acquaintances. My heart swelled with a confused happiness, like finding Mount Fuji in Lake Towada.

"You look completely recovered, don't you?" you said, handing me a bouquet. At that moment, I was a little flustered. You naturally asked Ma-bo, "Any humble vase will do, please lend it to Hibari." Ma-bo nodded and went to get a vase, and I felt as if I were dreaming. I didn't know what was happening and asked a clumsy question, "Do you know Ma-bo from before?"

"You know from your letter, don't you?" you laughed.

"Oh, right," we both burst out laughing.

"Did you recognize it was Ma-bo right away?"

"I knew at first sight. Much nicer than I expected."

"For example?"

"You're persistent. You still have feelings for him, don't you? Not as vulgar as I expected. He's just a child."

"Is that so?"

"But not bad. He has a delicate build."

"Is that so?"

I was enveloped in a pleasant feeling.