Twenty-six to twenty-seven

by Natsume Sōseki

K and I were enrolled in the same department, but since our majors were different, our coming and going times naturally varied. When I left early, I would just pass by his room, but when I stayed late, it was customary to exchange simple greetings before entering my own room. K would always look up from his book, glance at me as I opened the sliding door, and ask, "Are you back now?" Sometimes I would nod without answering anything, while other times I would just respond with a "Yeah" and continue on my way.

One day, I had business in Kanda and returned later than usual. I hurriedly reached the gate, and the moment I swung it open, I heard a lady's voice coming from K's room. If you go straight from the entrance, the tea room and the lady's room are connected, and if you turn left, there's K's room, followed by my own, so I immediately knew whose voice it was. I quickly closed the gate. At that moment, the lady's voice also stopped immediately. While I was taking off my shoes, I was wearing the trendy, cumbersome lace-up boots of that time, but I didn't hear any voices coming from K's room. I found it strange. I thought maybe I was mistaken. However, when I opened the sliding door to pass through K's room as usual, there they were, sitting properly. K said, "Are you back now?" and the lady also greeted me with, "Welcome back." That greeting sounded a bit stiff to me. There was a tone that felt somewhat unnatural, resonating in my eardrums.

I asked the lady, "Where's your wife?" but that question had no particular meaning. The house was quieter than usual, so I just asked out of curiosity.

The wife was out. The maid had also gone out with her. In other words, only K and the young lady were left at home. I tilted my head slightly. Although I had been taken care of for a long time, the wife had never left just me and the young lady alone before. When I asked the young lady if something urgent had come up, she just smiled. I disliked women who laughed at such times. It might be something common among young women, but the young lady was also the type who often laughed at trivial things. However, she saw the expression on my face and quickly returned to her usual demeanor. "It's not urgent, but I had a little errand to run," she answered seriously. As a lodger, I had no right to press further, so I remained silent.

Just as I was adjusting my kimono and about to take my seat, the wife and the maid returned. Then, the time came for everyone to gather around the dinner table. When I first started boarding, I was treated as a guest, so the maid would bring the dishes every time we ate, but before I knew it, that had changed, and it became customary for me to be called over at mealtimes. When K moved in, I decided to have him treated the same way as I was. In exchange, I donated a delicate folding table made of thin boards to the wife. It seems that such tables are now used in every household, but at that time, there were hardly any families that ate around such a table. I had gone all the way to a furniture store in Ochanomizu to have it made according to my idea.

At that table, I received an explanation from the wife that on that day, the fishmonger had not come at the usual time, so we had to go into town to buy something for us to eat. Indeed, I thought it was only natural to do so since we had guests, and when I did, the young lady looked at my face again and burst into laughter. However, this time she stopped immediately after being scolded by the wife.

About a week later, I passed by the room where K and the young lady were talking together again. At that moment, as soon as the young lady saw my face, she burst out laughing. I should have immediately asked what was so funny, but instead, I silently made my way to my living room. Therefore, K was unable to greet me as usual with, "Did you just get back?" The young lady seemed to have immediately opened the shoji and entered the tea room.

At dinner, the young lady called me a strange person. Even then, I did not ask why I was strange. I only noticed that the wife was casting a glaring look at the young lady.

After the meal, I took K out for a walk. The two of us circled around the street behind Dentsuin and came out again at the bottom of Tomisaka. It was not a short walk, but we talked very little during that time. In terms of personality, K was a quieter man than I was. I was not particularly talkative either, but I tried to engage him in conversation as much as possible while walking. My topics mainly revolved around the families we were both boarding with. I wanted to know how he viewed the wife and the young lady. However, he only gave vague responses that were indistinguishable from either the sea or the mountains, and those responses were very simple despite being unclear. He seemed to pay more attention to his major than to the two women. After all, it was around the time when the second-year exams were approaching, so from the perspective of an ordinary person, he was probably the more student-like student. Moreover, he talked about Swedenborg, surprising the uneducated me.

When we safely finished the exam, my wife raised her voice in joy. "Just one more year, right?" she said, and her expression was overflowing with pride. The graduation of our daughter, who could be said to be her only pride, was also just around the corner.

K said to me, "Women just leave school without knowing anything." He seemed to have no interest at all in the fact that his daughter was learning things like sewing, koto, and flower arranging, aside from academics. I laughed off his ignorance. Then, I repeated the old argument that a woman's worth is not found in such things in front of him again. He did not particularly argue back, but just remained silent. I found that amusing. His tone, as if to say "hmph," still seemed to look down on women. It seemed as if he did not think of the young lady I knew as anything significant. Looking back now, my jealousy towards K had already sufficiently taken root at that point.

I consulted K about whether we should go somewhere for summer vacation. Then, he showed signs of not wanting to go. Of course, he was not in a position to go anywhere of his own free will, but he should have been able to go anywhere if I invited him. I asked him why he didn't want to go, but he said he preferred to stay home and read books for no particular reason. When I argued that going to a cool place in the summer resort would be better for his health, he said, "Then you should just go by yourself." However, I did not feel like leaving K alone here. It was not very pleasant for me to see him getting closer and closer to the people in the house. If I were to say that it made me feel bad for things to turn out as I initially wished, then so be it, but perhaps I am just foolish.

Unable to bear the endless argument between the two, the wife stepped in to mediate. In the end, the two decided to go to Bōshū together.