Eleven (5/5)

by Natsume Sōseki

Kangetsu-kun had a strange feeling towards the somewhat pessimistic opinions of the teachers. "What does this mean?" he said.

"That's because you have a wife," Meitei-kun interpreted immediately. At that moment, the master suddenly said, "It is a big mistake to think that having a wife means women are good. For reference, I will read you an interesting book, so listen carefully," as he picked up an old book he had brought from his study. "This book is old, but the bad traits of women have been made clear since ancient times," he said, and Kangetsu-kun was surprised.

"I was a bit surprised. Originally, from what era is this book?" he asked, to which the master replied, "It is a work from the sixteenth century by Tamas Nassi."

"I am truly surprised. Was my wife's bad reputation already written about in that era?"

"There are various criticisms of women, and your wife is included among them, so listen," the master said, and Kangetsu-kun responded, "Yes, I will listen. It has become quite enlightening."

"First, the ancient sages wrote about their views on women. Are you listening?" the master continued.

"Everyone is listening. Even I, a single man, am listening," Kangetsu-kun replied.

"Aristotle said that since women are useless anyway, if you are to take a wife, you should take a smaller one rather than a larger one. A smaller useless one brings fewer disasters than a larger useless one..."

"Is Kangetsu-kun's wife large or small?" Meitei-kun asked.

"She belongs to the large useless category," Kangetsu-kun answered.

"Hahaha, this is an interesting book. Now, let's continue reading," the master said.

"Someone asks, what is the greatest miracle? The sage answers, a chaste woman..."

"Who is this sage?" Kangetsu-kun asked.

"The name is not written," the master replied.

"It must be a sage who was rejected," Kangetsu-kun said.

"Next, Dionysus appears. A person asks, when should one marry a wife? Dionysus answers, youth is not yet, old age is already too late," the master continues.

"Teacher, you thought of that in the barrel, didn't you?" said Meitei-kun.

"Pythagoras said, there are three terrible things in the world: fire, water, and women," the master said, to which Kangugetsu-kun retorted. "The Greek philosophers say surprisingly foolish things. If you ask me, there is nothing to fear in the world. Entering fire without burning, entering water without drowning..." as Dokusen-kun began to say, Meitei-sensei supported him.

"You wouldn't melt upon encountering a woman," said Meitei-sensei, and the master quickly continued reading.

"Socrates said that managing women is the greatest difficulty for humans. Demosthenes said that if a person wants to torment their enemy, there is no other strategy than to give their woman to the enemy. This is because one would be exhausted day and night by the waves of domestic troubles. Seneca regarded women and ignorance as the two great scourges of the world, and Marcus Aurelius said that women are like ships in that they are difficult to control, while Protagoras stated that women have a tendency to adorn themselves with glamour to hide their inherent ugliness. Valerius once sent a letter to a friend, stating that there is nothing women cannot achieve in secret, and prayed that heaven would not let you fall into their traps. He also said, what are women? Are they not enemies of friendship? Are they not unavoidable suffering, inevitable harm, natural temptations, or poisons resembling honey? If abandoning women is immoral, one must admit that not abandoning them is an even greater guilt..."

"That's enough, teacher. Hearing that much slander against foolish wives is sufficient," said Kangugetsu-kun, to which the master replied, "There are still four or five pages left, so why not listen to the rest?"

"You should just give up. It must be time for your wife to return," teased Sensei Meitei, and from the tea room, the voice of his wife calling the maid, "Kiyo, Kiyo," could be heard.

"This is serious. Your wife is indeed here, my friend," said the master, to which Kangetsu-kun replied with a chuckle, "Hehehe, who cares?"

"Wife, wife. When did you return?" the master asked, but the tea room fell silent with no response.

"Wife, did you hear that just now? Huh?" the master asked again, but still received no answer.

"What I just said is not my own opinion. It's the theory of Nassi-kun from the sixteenth century, so don't worry," said the master, and his wife simply replied from afar, "I don't know." Kangetsu-kun chuckled softly.

"I also apologize for not knowing, ahahaha," Meitei-kun laughed without reservation, when suddenly the entrance was roughly opened, and without asking for permission, heavy footsteps were heard, followed by the shoji being violently pushed aside, revealing the face of Tatarayama Sanpei-kun.

Sanpei-kun was dressed today in an unusually white shirt and a new frock coat, already slightly disrupting the market, and without greeting anyone, he plopped down heavily, collapsing his knees in a striking display of bravado.

"Sensei, how is your stomach these days? You keep coming over here, it's not good," said Sanpei-kun.

"I haven't said whether it's bad or anything," the master replied.

"But your complexion doesn't look good. Sensei, your face is yellow. Recently, fishing has been good. I hired a boat from Shinagawa—I went last Sunday," continued Sanpei-kun.

"Did you catch anything?" the master asked.

"I didn't catch anything," Sanpei-kun replied.

"Is it still fun even if you don't catch anything?" the master inquired.

"It's to cultivate the spirit of Haoran, you see. How about you all? Have you ever been fishing? It's quite interesting, fishing. After all, you're riding around on a small boat over a vast sea," said Sanpei-kun, talking to anyone and everyone.

"I want to ride around on a large ship over a small sea," replied Mitei-kun.

"If you're going to fish, you might as well catch a whale or a mermaid; otherwise, it's boring," responded Kangugetsu-kun.

"Can you really catch something like that? Literary people have no common sense..." said Sanpei-kun, to which Kangugetsu-kun retorted.

"I'm not a literary person," said Kangugetsu-kun.

"Is that so? What are you then? For a businessman like me, common sense is the most important thing. You see, I've become quite rich in common sense lately. When you're in a place like that, surrounded by those kinds of people, it naturally happens," said Sanpei-kun.

"What happens?" the master asked.

"Well, with tobacco, for instance, if you're puffing on Asahi or Shikishima, you can't really make an impression," he said, pulling out an Egyptian cigarette with gold leaf on the mouthpiece and starting to smoke it.

"Do you have money for such luxury?" the master asked.

"I don't have money, but it'll work out somehow. When I smoke this tobacco, the level of trust is completely different," said Sanpei-kun.

"It's better to have an easy trust than Kangugetsu-kun polishing pearls; it's less hassle. It's a light and convenient trust," said Mitei-kun to Kangugetsu, but Kangugetsu said nothing in response, and Sanpei-kun continued his story.

"Are you Kangugetsu-san? Aren't you going to become a doctor after all? Since you're not becoming a doctor, I've decided to take her instead."

"Take the doctor?"

"No, the daughter of the Kaneda family. To be honest, I felt quite sorry for her, but they insisted that I take her, so I finally decided to do so, sir. However, I'm worried that it might be a bad obligation to Kangugetsu-san."

"Please don't hesitate," said Kangugetsu-kun, and the master replied,

"If you want to take her, then you should go ahead," giving an ambiguous response.

"That's a wonderful story. So there's no need to worry about what kind of daughter you have. When someone gets married, as I said earlier, a fine gentleman like this one will come along. Higashikaze-kun, you've got the seeds for a new poem. Get started right away," said Meitei-kun, getting into the spirit, and Sanpei-kun replied,

"Are you Higashikaze-kun? Could you create something for the wedding? I'll have it printed and distributed everywhere. I'll even get it published in the sun."

"Yes, I'll create something. When do you need it?"

"Anytime is fine. Anything you've made until now will do. In return, I'll invite you to the reception and treat you. I'll serve champagne. Have you ever had champagne? It's delicious. -- Sensei, I'm planning to hire a band for the reception, but how about we play Higashikaze-kun's piece arranged in sheet music?"

"Do as you please."

"Sensei, could you arrange it into sheet music for us?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Is there anyone here who can play music?"

"The candidate for failure, Kanguu-kun, is a master of the violin. Be sure to ask him properly. However, a man like him probably won't be satisfied with just champagne."

"As for the champagne, it shouldn't be one that costs four or five yen a bottle. What I'm treating you to isn't that cheap, but could you create a piece for us?"

"Yes, I'll make it. I can even create something with champagne that costs twenty sen a bottle. If you want, I can make it for free."

"I won't ask for it for free; I will express my gratitude. If you don't like champagne, how about this kind of gratitude?" he said, pulling out seven or eight photographs from the hidden pocket of his coat and scattering them on the tatami mat. Some show half-bodies. Some show full bodies. Some are standing. Some are sitting. Some are wearing hakama. Some are in furisode. Some have takashimada hairstyles. All are young women of exquisite age.

"Teacher, there are this many candidates. It's fine to arrange a thank you for either Kangetsu-kun or Toufuu-kun from these. How about this?" I thrust one sheet towards Kangetsu-kun.

"That sounds good. Please do arrange it."

"Is this one okay?" I thrust another sheet forward.

"That one is good too. Please do arrange it."

"Which one?"

"Any of them is fine."

"You are quite the romantic, aren't you? Teacher, this is the niece of the doctor."

"I see."

"This person has an extremely good character. She is also young. She is seventeen. -- With this, there is a dowry of one thousand yen. -- This one is the governor's daughter," I argued on my own.

"Is it possible for everyone to receive that?"

"Everyone? That's a bit greedy. Are you a proponent of polygamy?"

"I'm not for polygamy, but I am a carnivore."

"Whatever it is, it would be better to put that away quickly," the master said as if scolding, so Sanpei-kun

"Then, I won't take any," he said, while carefully putting each photo into his pocket.

"What is that beer?"

"It's a souvenir. I bought it at the corner liquor store as a pre-celebration. Please have one."

The master clapped his hands to call the maid and had her uncork it. The master, Meitei, Dokusen, Kangetsu, and Toufuu all respectfully raised their cups to celebrate Sanpei-kun's romantic fortune. Sanpei-kun, looking very pleased,

"I will invite everyone here to the unveiling party, but will everyone come? You will come, right?" he said.

"I don't want to," the master immediately replied.

"Why not? This is a once-in-a-lifetime grand event for me. Don't you want to come? That's a bit unfeeling."

"It's not that I'm unfeeling, but I'm not going."

"Don't you have a kimono? I can manage at least a haori and hakama. It would be fine to go out among people, teacher. I will introduce you to famous people."

"I'm sorry, Sanpei."

"Your stomach ailment will be cured."

"It won't matter if it doesn't."

"If you insist on being so stubborn, there's nothing we can do. What about you, will you come?"

"Me? I will definitely go. If possible, I would like to have the honor of being a mediator. Champagne toasts and spring evenings. -- What, the mediator is Mr. Suzuki's Fuji? I thought it would be someone from that area. This is unfortunate, but it can't be helped. Even if there are two mediators, it would be too much; I will simply attend as a regular person."

"What about you?"

"As for me, I am a leisurely person, fishing among the white lilies and red smartweeds."

"What is that, a selection of Tang poetry?"

"I don't really understand."

"You don't understand? That's troubling. I hope Mr. Kangu gets to come. Given our past relationship."

"I will definitely make it. It would be a shame to miss the band playing the song I composed."

"That's right. What about you, Mr. Tokikaze?"

"Well, I would like to read a new style poem in front of both of you."

"That sounds delightful. Teacher, I have never experienced anything so enjoyable since I was born. So I'll have another beer," he said, drinking the beer he bought himself and turning bright red.

The short autumn day finally came to an end, and looking into the hibachi scattered with the remains of rolled tobacco, the fire had long since gone out. Even the carefree group seemed to have lost some of their enthusiasm, as Mr. Dokusen stood up first, saying, "It's quite late. Shall we go home now?" Following him, others chimed in, "I will go home too," and they all headed to the entrance. The tatami room became lonely, like after a performance had ended.

The host finished dinner and entered the study. His wife, shivering in her thin robe, was sewing a freshly washed garment. The children lay down with their pillows lined up. The maid had gone to fetch water.

People may seem carefree at first glance, but when you tap into their hearts, a sad sound resonates somewhere. Even the seemingly enlightened Dokusen-kun ultimately does not step anywhere other than the ground. The world of Meitei-kun, which appears relaxed, is by no means a picture-perfect one. Kangugetsu-kun has stopped polishing pearls and finally brought his wife from his hometown. This is the usual flow. However, if the ordinary continues for too long, it will surely become boring. Even Toufuu-kun will realize the futility of recklessly dedicating new-style poetry ten years from now.

As for Sanpei-kun, it is difficult to determine whether he is a person who lives in water or one who lives in the mountains. If he can take pride in serving Sanben sake throughout his life, that is a good thing in itself. Suzuki no Fuji-san continues to roll endlessly. While rolling may get one muddy, it is more advantageous than being unable to roll even with mud on. It has already been two years since I was born as a cat and lived among humans. I thought there was no one else with such insight as mine, but the other day, an unfamiliar fellow of my kind named Kateru Muru suddenly appeared, surprising me. Upon further inquiry, it turned out that he had actually died a hundred years ago, but out of curiosity, he went out of his way to become a ghost to surprise me, coming from the distant underworld. This cat, when meeting its mother, set out with a fish as a greeting token but, unable to hold back, ended up eating it himself, making him a disobedient one. Yet, his talent is said to rival that of humans, and there was a time when he composed poetry to astonish his master. If such a hero had already appeared a century ago, someone as useless as me should have long since been granted leave to return to the land of nothingness.

The master will soon die of stomach disease. Old man Kaneda is already dead, consumed by greed. The autumn leaves have almost all fallen. Dying is the fate of all things, and if living is not very useful, perhaps it is wise to die early. According to various teachers, human destiny leads to suicide. If one is not careful, even cats will have to be born into such a cramped world. It is a terrifying thing. I feel somewhat depressed. I think I will drink Sanpei-kun's beer to change my mood a bit.

It spins on its own. Perhaps the lamp was extinguished while the door, swaying in the autumn breeze, was slightly ajar, allowing the moonlight to cast shadows through the window. Three cups are lined up on the tray, two of which are half-filled with brown liquid. The contents of the glass feel cold, as if it were tea or something. Moreover, this liquid illuminated by the cold moonlight of the night is already too cold to want to drink even before it touches my lips. However, it is worth a try. Sanpei turned bright red after drinking that and was breathing heavily. Even a cat would not become cheerful after drinking it. After all, life is uncertain; one never knows when it will end. One should do everything while they are alive. It is too late to regret from the shadows of the grave saying, "Ah, what a pity." Determined to try it, I boldly dipped my tongue in and splashed around, only to be surprised. It felt as if the tip of my tongue had been pricked by a needle. I do not understand why humans drink such rotten things for the sake of intoxication, but a cat certainly cannot finish it. Cats and beer do not mix well, no matter what. Realizing this is serious, I pulled my tongue back in, but then reconsidered. Humans often say, "Good medicine tastes bitter," and when they catch a cold, they grimace and drink strange things. Do they drink to heal, or do they heal in order to drink? This has been a question for me, but now seems like a good opportunity. I will solve this problem with beer. If my stomach turns bitter after drinking, then so be it; if I become as merry as Sanpei, forgetting everything, I would be an unprecedented winner and could even tell the neighborhood cats about it. Well, who knows what will happen? I decided to leave it to fate and once again stuck out my tongue. It is hard to drink with my eyes open, so I closed them tightly and began splashing again.

As I endured and endured, finally finishing a glass of beer, a strange phenomenon occurred. At first, my tongue tingled, and my mouth felt painfully compressed from the outside, but as I drank, it gradually became easier, and by the time I finished the first glass, it was no longer particularly difficult. Feeling okay, I easily tackled the second glass as well. I even wiped up what spilled on the tray and swallowed it down.

After that, for a while, I remained still, observing my own movements. Gradually, my body became warm. My eyes felt fuzzy, and my ears were hot. I wanted to sing. I wanted to dance as a cat. I felt like telling my master, Meitei, and Dokusen to eat shit. I wanted to scratch old man Kaneda. I wanted to nibble on my wife's nose. Various feelings welled up. In the end, I wanted to stand unsteadily. Once I got up, I wanted to walk wobbly. I thought this was interesting and wanted to go outside. When I went out, I wanted to greet the moon, saying good evening. It was quite delightful.

While thinking that this must be what being in a daze feels like, I wandered aimlessly, feeling as if I were taking a walk, or perhaps not, letting my unsteady legs move carelessly, and somehow I felt very sleepy. I couldn't tell if I was sleeping or walking. I intended to keep my eyes open, but they felt unbearably heavy. At this point, it was all over. Whether it was the sea or the mountains, I wouldn't be surprised, and just as I thought to stretch my front legs out, I heard a splash and suddenly realized—I've been caught. There was no time to think about how it happened. I just realized that I had been caught, and before I knew it, everything had turned into chaos.

When I returned to myself, I was floating on the water. Because it was painful, I scratched wildly with my claws, but all I could scratch was water, and as soon as I scratched, I would sink. With no other choice, I jumped up with my hind legs and scratched with my front legs, making a scraping sound and feeling a slight resistance. Finally, only my head floated up, and when I looked around, I found myself fallen into a large jar. This jar had been filled with water plants called water aoi until summer, but then a crow came and devoured the aoi, using the water. When the water is used, it decreases. If it decreases, they won't come anymore. I had just thought that the water had decreased significantly and that I couldn't see the crow lately, but I never imagined that I would end up using the water in this place instead of the crow.

The height from the water surface to the edge of the jar was about four inches. Even if I stretched my legs, I couldn't reach it. Even if I jumped, I couldn't get out from there. If I did nothing, I would just sink. Even if I desperately struggled, my claws only faintly touched the inside of the jar, and in that moment, I felt like I floated a little, but soon I would sink again. Because sinking was painful, I struggled again. While doing so, my body started to get tired. Contrary to my anxious feelings, my legs wouldn't move as I wished. Eventually, I couldn't even tell whether I was diving to scratch the jar or scratching to dive.

At that moment, I thought in my suffering. The reason I am experiencing such pain is simply because of my desire to rise above the jar. I have a strong desire to rise, but I fully understand that I cannot. My feet are less than three inches long. Even if my body floats to the surface of the water and I stretch my front legs as far as I can, my claws will not reach the edge of the jar, which is five inches high. If my claws cannot grasp the edge of the jar, no matter how much I scratch, how anxious I become, or how many years I spend exhausting myself, there is no way to escape. It is impossible to try to escape from something that I know I cannot. It is this insistence on the impossible that increases my suffering. How futile it is. To seek suffering for oneself and to willingly undergo torture is utterly foolish.

“I will stop now. Do as you please. I won’t tolerate any more than this,” I decided to let go and not resist the natural forces with my front legs, back legs, head, or tail.

Gradually, I begin to feel at ease. I am not sure whether it is suffering or gratitude. I cannot even tell if I am in the water or on the tatami mat. Wherever I am, however I am, it does not matter. I am simply at ease. No, I cannot even feel the ease itself. I sever the days and months, shatter the heavens and earth, and enter into an incomprehensible tranquility. I will die. I will die and attain this tranquility. Tranquility can only be obtained through death. Namu Amida Butsu, Namu Amida Butsu. How grateful, how grateful.