Ten (2/4)

by Natsume Sōseki

Children are truly amazing. Unaware of their father's troubles, they happily eat their meals. However, it is the boy who is unmanageable. The boy is only three years old, and although his mother thoughtfully prepares small chopsticks and a bowl for him, he completely rejects them. He always snatches his sister's bowl and grabs her chopsticks, trying to forcefully use the awkward tools. Looking around the world, it is often the incompetent and talentless little people who crave power excessively, and this trait has indeed sprouted from the time of this boy. Therefore, it is wise to give up early on the idea that education or discipline can change this.

The boy is using a splendid bowl and long chopsticks that he snatched from next door, behaving as if they are his own. Because those who cannot handle them try to use them forcibly, they inevitably become rowdy. First, the boy grips the base of the chopsticks together and plunges them into the bottom of the bowl. The bowl is filled to about eight-tenths with rice, and a generous amount of miso soup is poured over it. The moment the chopsticks touch the bowl, the balance that had been precariously maintained collapses, and suddenly the bowl tilts about thirty degrees. At the same time, the miso soup begins to spill mercilessly onto his chest. The boy is never discouraged by such things. He is a tyrant. This time, he lifts the chopsticks he had thrust in with all his might from the bottom of the bowl, while simultaneously bringing his small mouth to the edge of the bowl, accepting the lifted grains of rice into his mouth. The spilled grains mixed with the yellow liquid splattered onto his nose, cheeks, and chin. Among the splattered bits, some fell onto the tatami, wasted. It is indeed a reckless way of eating. I want to advise the renowned Kaneda-kun and the powerful figures of the world. If they handle others as the boy handles his bowl and chopsticks, the grains of rice that will jump into their mouths will be extremely few. They do not jump in inevitably, but rather unconsciously. I sincerely hope they reconsider. It is unbecoming of the adept people of the world.

Tonko, the older sister, had her chopsticks and rice bowl taken away by the boy, and reluctantly had to make do with a small rice bowl. However, since it was originally too small, if she had even one full serving, she would finish it in just a few bites. Therefore, she frequently reached for the larger bowl. After changing bowls four times, this time it was her fifth serving. Tonko opened the lid of the larger bowl, picked up a big ladle, and stared at it for a while. It seemed she was unsure whether to eat or serve, but finally, perhaps having made up her mind, she carefully scooped up a portion from the unburned part. That was fine, but when she flipped it over, it spilled onto the rice bowl. The rice that couldn't fit in the bowl rolled out onto the tatami mat in a lump. Tonko showed no signs of surprise and began to carefully pick up the spilled rice. When I wondered what she would do with it, she put all of it back into the larger bowl. It seemed a bit dirty.

When the boy attempted a grand performance and lifted his chopsticks, Tonko had just finished serving the rice. As expected of an older sister, she couldn't bear to see the boy's face in such a mess and said, "Oh dear, boy-chan, this is terrible, your face is covered in rice grains," and immediately began to wipe his face. First, she removed the grains stuck to the tip of his nose. Just when it seemed she would throw them away, she surprisingly put them right into her own mouth. Then, she spotted the grains on his cheeks. There were quite a few here, probably around twenty in total. The sister carefully picked them off one by one, eating each one, until she had eaten every single grain on her little brother's face. At that moment, Sunko, who had been quietly nibbling on pickled radish, suddenly scooped out some broken sweet potato from the miso soup and eagerly tossed it into her mouth. As everyone knows, the heat of sweet potato in soup can be quite intense in the mouth. Even adults need to be careful not to burn themselves. Naturally, Sunko, who had little experience with sweet potatoes, panicked. She shouted "Wah!" and spat the sweet potato from her mouth onto the dining table. For some reason, two or three pieces slid right in front of the boy and stopped at just the right distance. The boy, of course, loved sweet potatoes. Since his favorite sweet potato was right in front of him, he immediately dropped his chopsticks and grabbed it with his hands, munching away happily.

The master, who had been watching the scene the whole time, ate his own meal and drank his own soup without saying a word. At that moment, he was already in the middle of using a toothpick. It seems that the master intends to adhere to an absolute laissez-faire approach regarding his daughter's education. Even if the three of them become lovers like Ebi-cha Shikibu or Nezumi Shikibu and all three suddenly run away, they would still calmly eat their own meals and drink their own soup. It is a matter of not working. However, when I see people in today's world who are working, they seem to know nothing but lying to catch others, going ahead to pluck out a horse's eyeball, putting on a brave front to intimidate others, and setting traps to deceive people. Even middle school students, imitating what they see, misunderstand that they cannot get by unless they do this, and take pride in doing things that they should actually be ashamed of. These are not workers. They are thugs. Since I am also a cat from Japan, I have some sense of patriotism. Every time I see such workers, I feel like hitting them. If even one such person increases, the nation will decline accordingly. A school with such students is a disgrace to the school, and a nation with such people is a disgrace to the nation. Despite being a disgrace, it is hard to understand why there are so many in the world. It seems that Japanese people lack even the spirit of a cat. It is pathetic. Compared to such thugs, I cannot help but say that the master is a far superior human being. The fact that he lacks ambition is what makes him superior. The fact that he is incompetent is what makes him superior. The fact that he is not petty is what makes him superior.

After finishing breakfast without doing any work, the master changed into his clothes and got into the car, heading towards the Nihonbashi police station. In the car, he asked the driver, "Do you know Nihonbashi?" The driver chuckled, "It's the Nihonbashi near the Yoshiwara with the brothels," which was a bit comical as he emphasized it.

After the master unusually left the entrance by car, the wife finished her meal as usual and urged, "Come on, you need to go to school. You'll be late." However, the child, with a calm expression, replied, "Oh, but today is a holiday," showing no signs of preparing. "There's no holiday, hurry up," she said in a scolding tone, to which the sister calmly responded, "But yesterday, the teacher said we have a day off." The wife, realizing something was a bit off at this point, took out the calendar from the cupboard and looked at it repeatedly, finding "Holiday" written clearly in red. The master must have submitted a leave of absence to the school without knowing it was a holiday. The wife probably sent it off without knowing either. However, it was a bit questionable whether the master truly didn't know or was pretending not to know. The surprised wife said, "Then let's all play quietly," and took out the sewing box to start her work as usual.

For the next thirty minutes, the house was peaceful, and no incidents occurred that would serve as material for me, but suddenly a strange person visited. She was a girl student, around seventeen or eighteen years old. Wearing shoes with bent heels and dragging a purple hakama, her hair was puffed up like abacus beads, and she came in through the back door without asking for guidance. This was the master's niece, a student from school, who sometimes came on Sundays and often quarreled with her uncle before leaving. Her beautiful name was Yukie. However, her face was not as striking as her name, and she had a look that you would definitely encounter if you stepped outside and walked a block or two.

"Auntie, good morning," she said as she entered the tea room and sat down next to the sewing box.

"Oh, you came early..."

"Since today is a big holiday, I thought I would come up a bit in the morning, so I left home around eight-thirty and hurried here."

"I see, do you need something?"

"No, I just wanted to show my face since it's been a while."

"Not just a little, take your time and play. Uncle will be back soon."

"Has Uncle already gone somewhere? That's unusual."

"Yes, today he went to a strange place... He went to the police, isn't that odd?"

"Oh, why?"

"They caught a thief who broke in this spring."

"So he's being called in for that? What a hassle."

"Oh, it's fine, the items will be returned. The officer came yesterday to say that since some of the stolen things have turned up, we should come to collect them."

"Oh, I see. If that weren't the case, Uncle wouldn't have left so early. Normally, he would still be sleeping at this time."

"No one sleeps in as much as Uncle... And when you wake him up, he gets really angry. This morning, he insisted I wake him up by seven, so I did. But then he just burrowed back under the blankets and didn't respond at all. I was worried, so I woke him up again, and he muttered something from his nightgown sleeve. It's truly astonishing."

"I wonder why he's so sleepy. He must be suffering from nervous exhaustion."

"What do you mean?"

"He really gets angry for no reason. How does he manage to stay in school?"

"Well, they say he's quiet at school."

"That's even worse. He's just like a Konjac Enma."

"Why?"

"For no reason, he's like a Konjac Enma. Doesn't he seem like one?"

"It's not just about being angry. If someone says right, he says left; if someone says left, he says right. He never does what anyone says—it's just stubbornness."

"He's like a Tenkanjo. Uncle treats that as a hobby. So if you want him to do something, you have to say the opposite, and then he'll do exactly what you want. The other day, when I wanted him to buy me a bat umbrella, I pretended I didn't want it, and he immediately bought it, saying there's no way you wouldn't want it."

"Hohoho, that's interesting. I think I'll do that from now on."

"You should. Otherwise, you'll miss out."

“The other day, a person from the insurance company came and urged me to definitely sign up, right? They talked for an hour, giving various reasons, saying there are these benefits and those benefits, but I absolutely refuse to join. We don’t have any savings, and we have three children like this, so it would really ease my mind if they would at least get some insurance, but they don’t care about that at all.”

“That’s true, it’s unsettling to think about what might happen,” she said, sounding more like a housewife than a seventeen or eighteen-year-old girl.

“Listening to that negotiation from the sidelines is really interesting. I can’t deny that there is a need for insurance. It’s necessary, so the company must exist. However, they are stubbornly insisting that as long as they don’t die, there’s no need for insurance.”

“Your uncle?”

“Yes, then the company guy said, of course, you don’t need insurance if you’re not going to die. But human life, while it seems strong, is actually fragile, and you never know when danger might be lurking. When he said that, your uncle replied, ‘It’s okay, I’ve decided I’m not going to die,’ which is just outrageous.”

“Even if you decide, you’ll still die. I was determined to pass, but in the end, I failed.”

“Insurance employees say that too. Lifespan isn’t something you can control. If you could live long just by deciding, no one would die.”

“The insurance company is right.”

“Of course they are. But they don’t understand that. No, they absolutely won’t die. They boast that they swear they won’t die.”

“That’s strange.”

“It is strange, very strange. They insist that it’s much better to save money in the bank than to pay insurance premiums.”

“Do you have savings?”

“Of course not. I don’t care at all about what happens after I die.”

“That’s really worrying. I wonder why there are people like that. There’s no one here like your uncle.”

“Is it something you need? It’s rare.”

“It would be good to ask Suzuki-san for his opinion. It’s much easier with someone calm like him.”

“However, Suzuki-san doesn’t have a good reputation among us.”

“Everyone thinks the opposite. In that case, that person would be better—look, that calm individual.”

“Yagi-san?”

“Yes.”

“I’m a bit at a loss with Yagi-san. Yesterday, Meitei-san came and spoke ill of him, so he might not be as good as I thought.”

“But isn’t that fine? If he’s so composed—he gave a speech at school the other day, right?”

“Yagi-san did?”

“Yes.”

“Is Yagi-san a teacher at Yukie-san’s school?”

“No, he’s not a teacher, but he was invited to speak at the Shukutoku Women’s Association.”

“Was it interesting?”

“Well, it wasn’t that interesting. But that teacher has such a long face and a beard like a deity, so everyone was impressed and listened.”

“What was the talk about?” Just as Tsuma-kun was about to ask, Yukie-san’s voice was heard, and the three children burst into the living room. They must have been playing in the vacant lot outside the bamboo fence until now.

“Oh, Yukie-san is here!” the two older sisters exclaimed happily. Tsuma-kun said, “Don’t make so much noise, everyone sit quietly. Yukie-san is about to tell us an interesting story,” and began to tidy up the work.

“Yukie-san, what story are you going to tell? I love stories!” said Tonko, and Sunku asked, “Is it the story of Kachikachiyama?” The third daughter pushed her knees forward between her sisters and said, “Boba will tell a story too.” However, this did not mean that Boba would listen to a story, but rather that Boba would tell a story. “Oh, it’s another story from Boba-chan,” laughed the older sister, and the wife encouraged, “Let’s save Boba for later. Let’s hear Yukie-san’s story first.” Boba seemed reluctant to listen. “No way, bubu,” he shouted loudly. “Oh, alright, let’s start with Boba-chan. What do you say?” Yukie-san humbly asked.

“Well, Bota, Bota, where are you going?”

“That’s interesting. And then?”

“We’re going to the rice fields to harvest.”

“Yes, that’s something you know well.”

“You become a nuisance when you come.”

“Oh, I’m coming, I’m coming,” Tonko interjected. Boba, as usual, shouted “bubu” and immediately annoyed his sister. However, because he was interrupted midway, he forgot the continuation and couldn’t come up with anything else. “Is that all, Boba-chan?” Yukie-san asked.

“Well, later, I don’t want to fart. Puu, puupuu.”

“Hohoho, how awful! Who taught you such things?”

“Mitsumi.”

“Bad Mitsumi, teaching you such things,” the wife said with a wry smile, but then added, “Now it’s Yukie-san’s turn. You must listen quietly, Boya,” and even the tyrant seemed to agree, becoming quiet for a while afterward.

“Mr. Yagi's speech was like this,” Yukie-san began to speak. “Once upon a time, there was a large stone Jizo in the middle of a certain intersection. However, it was a busy place where horses and carts passed by, so it became quite a nuisance. The people of the neighborhood gathered and discussed how to move this stone Jizo to a corner.”

“Is that really a true story?”

“Well, I can't say for sure, but after everyone discussed it, the strongest man in the neighborhood said, ‘I will definitely take care of it,’ and went to the intersection alone, rolled up his sleeves, and tried to pull it, but it wouldn't budge at all.”

“It must be a really heavy stone Jizo.”

“Yes, and then that man got tired and went home to sleep, so the people in the neighborhood started discussing again. This time, the smartest man in the neighborhood said, ‘Leave it to me, I will try the hardest,’ and he filled a bento box with lots of rice cakes, came in front of the Jizo, and showed the rice cakes, saying, ‘Come here.’ Since the Jizo also had a big appetite, he thought he could be lured by the rice cakes, but it didn’t move at all. The smart man thought this wouldn’t work, so he filled a gourd with sake, hung the gourd in one hand, held a sake cup in the other, and came in front of the Jizo, saying, ‘Well, don’t you want to drink? If you want to, come here,’ and teased for about three hours, but it still wouldn’t move.”

“Yukie-san, doesn’t the Jizo get hungry?” asked Tonko, and “I want to eat rice cakes,” said Sunku.

“Since the smart man failed twice, the next time he made a lot of counterfeit bills and said, ‘Well, you want this, don’t you? If you want it, come and get it,’ and kept showing and pulling back the bills, but that was completely useless as well. The Jizo is really quite stubborn.”

“That’s true. He’s a bit like my uncle.”

"Yes, just like an uncle. In the end, even the clever people got fed up and quit. After that, a big bluffer came along and said, 'I will surely take care of it, so don't worry,' as if it were an easy task."

"What did that bluffer do?"

"That's the interesting part. At first, he dressed in a police officer's uniform, put on a fake mustache, and came in front of the Jizo statue, boasting, 'Hey, hey, if you don't move, it won't be good for you; the police will throw you away,' trying to act tough. In today's world, no one listens to a fake police voice."

"That's true. So, did the Jizo statue move?"

"Of course not, it's an uncle."

"But the uncle is very afraid of the police."

"Oh really, with that face? Then it's not that scary. But the Jizo statue doesn't move, it stays calm. Then the bluffer got very angry, took off the police uniform, threw the fake mustache into the trash can, and this time came out dressed like a rich man. They say he looked like Baron Iwasaki in today's terms. It's funny."

"What kind of face is like Iwasaki's?"

"Just a big face, I guess. And without doing anything or saying anything, he walks around the Jizo, puffing on a big roll of tobacco."

"What does that accomplish?"

"He wraps the Jizo in smoke."

"It's like a storyteller's joke. Did he manage to wrap it in smoke well?"

"No way, the other party is a stone. If you don't be careful with your tricks, this time he transformed into a prince. How foolish."

"Wow, are there princes in that era too?"

"It seems so. Since Mr. Yagi said so, it seems he really transformed into a prince, but that's quite audacious, and isn't it disrespectful for a bluffer to do that?"

"Which prince are you talking about?"

"Asking which prince is also disrespectful."

"That's true."

“It seems even His Highness doesn't understand. Since there's nothing we can do about that Jizo, it seems they surrendered.”

“That's what they deserve.”

“Yes, they should just throw them in prison while they're at it. But the people in the neighborhood are very distressed and held another meeting, but it seems no one is willing to take it on anymore.”

“Is that the end of it?”

“Not yet. In the end, they hired a lot of car drivers and thugs to make noise around the Jizo. They thought it would be good to bully the Jizo and make it unbearable, so they were making noise day and night.”

“That sounds tough.”

“Even so, it seems the Jizo isn't responding. It seems quite stubborn.”

“What happened next?” Tonko asked eagerly.

“Well, after that, since there was no effect from the noise every single day, everyone started to get tired of it, but the drivers and thugs were happy to make noise because they were getting paid.”

“Yukie-san, what does daily wage mean?”

“Daily wage means money.”

“What do they use the money for?”

“To get money... Hohoho, what a troublesome person you are, Natsunko. — So, Auntie, while they were making noise every day and night, there was a fool in the neighborhood called Bakadake, who knew nothing and no one paid him any mind. It seems that fool saw this commotion and said, ‘Why are they making such a fuss? Can't they move a single Jizo even after years? How pathetic.’”

“He's a fool, yet he's quite impressive.”

“He's quite an impressive fool. Everyone listened to Bakadake, thinking it was worth a try, even if it probably wouldn't work. So they asked him to give it a shot, and without hesitation, he took it on, telling the drivers and thugs to stop the annoying noise and be quiet, and then he calmly stepped in front of the Jizo.”

“Yukie-san, what does calmly mean? Is it Bakadake's friend?”

Tonko asked a crucial question, causing both the lady and Yukie to burst into laughter.

“No, he's not a friend.”

“Then what is he?”

“Hyouzen means... I can't quite put it into words.”

“You can't put hyouzen into words?”

“That's not it, you see, hyouzen means...”

“I see.”

“You know, you know Sanpei Tatara, right?”

“Yes, he gave me yam from the mountains.”

“He says things like that, just like Sanpei.”

“Is Sanpei hyouzen?”

“Yes, well, sort of. —And then Bakadake came in front of Jizō-sama, put his hands in his pockets, and said, ‘Jizō-sama, the people in the neighborhood are asking you to move, so please do so.’ Jizō-sama immediately replied, ‘Oh, I should have said that sooner,’ and then he started moving.”

“What a strange Jizō-sama.”

“And that’s when the speech starts.”

“Is there more to it?”

“Yes, then Mr. Yagi said, ‘Today there is a women’s meeting, and the reason I went out of my way to talk about this is because I have a bit of a thought on the matter. I might be rude to say this, but women tend to take the long way around instead of approaching things head-on. Of course, this isn’t limited to women; during the Meiji era, men have also become somewhat feminine under the influence of civilization, and it seems many misunderstand that this excessive effort and labor is the main point, the policy that gentlemen should follow. However, these are the deformities bound by the work of enlightenment. Especially for women, I hope you can recall old tales and handle matters with the honest thoughts of someone like Bakadake when the time comes. If you all become like Bakadake, the dreadful conflicts that arise between couples and between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law will surely decrease by a third. The more ulterior motives a person has, the more those motives will backfire and become a source of unhappiness, so the reason many women are more unhappy than the average man is precisely because they have too many ulterior motives. Please, become like Bakadake,’ that’s the speech.”