Nine (3/3)

by Natsume Sōseki

"You were good at deceiving people since then, huh?"

"…That's why I was able to sleep soundly without any worries, because Dokusen-kun is such a wonderful person. When I woke up the next morning, there were threads hanging down from the plaster, and it was comical how they got caught in that goat beard."

"But it seems like you've become quite impressive compared to back then."

"Have you met him recently?"

"He came about a week ago and talked for a long time."

"I see, so that's why you're waving around the passive theory of Dokusen-ryu."

"Actually, at that time, I was so impressed by his talk that I thought I should also work hard on my training."

"It's good to work hard, but if you take everything people say too seriously, you'll end up losing out. You tend to accept everything people say too readily, and that's what happens. Dokusen talks big, but when it comes down to it, he's just like us. You remember the big earthquake nine years ago, right? At that time, Dokusen-kun was the only one who jumped out of the second floor of the dormitory and got injured."

"It seems he has quite a bit to say for himself."

"That's right, according to him, that's something to be very grateful for. The essence of Zen is strict, and when it comes to the so-called 'flash of stone fire,' one can react to things at an astonishing speed. While others were panicking about the earthquake, he was the only one who jumped out of the second-floor window, feeling the results of his training and rejoicing. He's a competitive guy. There's nothing more suspicious than those who make a fuss about Zen and Buddhism."

"Is that so?" said Kusami-sensei, with a slightly taken aback expression.

"When he came the other day, didn't the Zen monk say something like he was talking in his sleep?"

"Yeah, he taught me the phrase 'Cutting through the spring breeze in the shadow of lightning.'"

“That electric light. It's strange because it's a famous phrase from ten years ago. No one in the dormitory didn't know about the electric light of the Mu-kaku Zen Master. Moreover, when the teacher occasionally coughs, he amusingly mixes up 'Electric Light in the Shadow' and says it backwards as 'Cutting Electric Light in the Spring Breeze Shadow.' Try it next time. When you calmly talk over there and we oppose various things from here, he immediately flips and says something strange.”

“It's unbearable to meet a trickster like you.”

“I can't tell which one of us is the trickster. I really dislike Zen monks and enlightened people. There's a temple called Nanzoin nearby, and there's an old man there who is about eighty years old. During the recent white rain, lightning struck inside the temple and split the pine tree in the yard where the old man was. However, the monk said he was calm and unbothered, and when I listened closely, it turned out he was hard of hearing. That explains why he was calm. That's generally how it is. If only the solitary sage could be enlightened alone, but he ends up inviting others, which is troublesome. In fact, because of the solitary sage, about two people have gone crazy.”

“Who?”

“One is Rino Tōzen. He became obsessed with Zen studies due to the solitary sage's influence, went to Kamakura, and ultimately went crazy there. He jumped into the crossing in front of Engaku-ji and sat in zazen on the tracks. He did something outrageous, trying to stop the train coming from the other side. Fortunately, the train stopped, so he survived, but then he shouted that he had a body that wouldn't burn in fire or drown in water and crawled into the temple's lotus pond, walking around bubbling.”

“Did he die?”

“At that time, fortunately, a monk from the dojo happened to pass by and helped him, but after returning to Tokyo, he eventually died of peritonitis. The cause of death was peritonitis, but the reason was that he ate barley rice and pickled vegetables in the monk's hall, so in the end, it’s as if the solitary sage indirectly killed him.”

“Being overly passionate has its pros and cons,” the master said, making a slightly uneasy expression.

"That's true. There's another person from our class who was also affected by the Dokusen."

"That's dangerous. Who is it?"

"It's Tachimachirouba-kun. That man was also incited by Dokusen and kept saying things like eels rising to the heavens, but he eventually became the real deal."

"What do you mean by the real deal?"

"Eventually, the eel rose to the heavens, and the pig became an immortal."

"What are you talking about?"

"If Yagi is Dokusen, then Tachimachi is Butosen. There has never been a man so gluttonous, but his greed combined with the malice of a Zen monk made him unable to escape. At first, we didn't notice, but looking back now, he was saying all sorts of strange things. He came to my house and kept spouting warnings like, 'Isn't that cutlet flying to that pine tree?' or 'In my country, the fish cake swims on a board.' As long as he was just talking, it was fine, but when he suggested, 'Let's go dig for gold in the front ditch,' I had to give up. A few days later, he finally became Butosen and was confined in Sugamo. Originally, pigs have no right to go crazy, but it was entirely because of Dokusen that he ended up like that."

"Oh, is he still in Sugamo?"

"I don't think so. He's a megalomaniac now, spewing great flames. Recently, he said that the name Tachimachirouba is boring and started calling himself Tendou Kouhei, claiming to be the embodiment of the heavenly way. It's quite something. Well, why don't you go check it out?"

"Tendou Kouhei?"

"Yes, Tendou Kouhei. It's a clever name for a madman. Sometimes he writes it as Kouhei. He says he wants to save the people of the world because they are lost, and he carelessly sends letters to friends and others. I've received four or five letters myself, and some of them were quite long, and I was taxed for deficiency a couple of times."

"So, the reason he came to me was because of Rouba."

"Did he come to you too? That's strange. It must have been the red situation bag, right?"

"Yeah, it's a bag that is red in the middle and white on both sides, quite an unusual design."

"That one is said to be specially ordered from China. The way of heaven is white, the way of earth is white, and people are red in the middle, it supposedly illustrates the saying of the pig sage..."

"It's quite a bag with a backstory."

"Only a madman would go to such lengths. Even after going mad, it seems the appetite remains intact, as it always mentions food, which is strange. Didn't anything come to your place?"

"Yeah, it mentioned sea cucumbers."

"Old Ume liked sea cucumbers. That's understandable. And then?"

"Then it talks about pufferfish and Korean ginseng."

"The combination of pufferfish and Korean ginseng is delicious. Perhaps it's suggesting that if you get sick from eating pufferfish, you should brew and drink Korean ginseng."

"It doesn't seem like that."

"It doesn't matter if it isn't. After all, he's mad. Is that all?"

"There's more. There's a phrase that says, 'Mr. Kusami, please come for tea.'"

"Ahahaha, 'please come for tea' is too harsh. He must have thought he really got you with that. Wonderful. Long live the fairness of heaven!" Mr. Meitei laughed heartily. The master, realizing that the sender of the letter he had read repeatedly was a madman with gold leaf, felt frustrated as the initial enthusiasm and effort seemed wasted, and he felt embarrassed thinking about how he had painstakingly savored the madman's writing. In the end, he began to doubt whether he himself might have a slight abnormality in his nerves, beyond just being impressed by the madman's work, and with a mix of anger, embarrassment, and worry, he wore a somewhat restless expression.

At that moment, the front lattice door swung open wide, and heavy footsteps echoed in the entrance. Then, a loud voice was heard saying, "Excuse me, excuse me." The master remained still, but Meitei, being a very easygoing man, jumped over the partition without waiting for the introduction and said, "Come through." It may seem bothersome to enter someone's house without asking for guidance, but once inside, he acts like a student and serves as an intermediary, which is very convenient. No matter how easygoing Meitei is, he is still a guest. The fact that this guest is at the entrance means that the master, Mr. Kusami, cannot remain seated in the tatami room without moving. A normal man would follow out after, but this is Mr. Kusami. He calmly sits down on the cushion. However, being calm and being composed may look similar, but in essence, they are quite different.

Meitei, who had jumped out to the entrance, was explaining something repeatedly, but eventually turned toward the back and shouted, "Hey, master, it’s a bit of a bother, but please come out. It won’t do without you." The master reluctantly came out slowly with his hands in his pockets. Upon looking, Meitei was crouching, holding a business card tightly, and greeting someone. It was a very unassuming posture. The business card read, "Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department Detective Constable Yoshida Torazo." Next to Torazo was a tall, stylish man in his mid-twenties dressed entirely in a Chinese-style outfit. Strangely, this man, like the master, stood silently with his hands in his pockets. When I observed closely, I realized that this was not just a familiar face. This was the thief who visited late at night the other day and took away the mountain yam. Oh, now he has come openly in broad daylight from the entrance.

"Hey, this person is a detective constable, and he came all the way here to tell you to report because he caught the thief we apprehended the other day."

The master seemed to finally understand the reason the detective had barged in, bowing his head and politely bowing towards the thief. The thief appeared more masculine than Torako-kun, so he probably jumped to the conclusion that this was the detective. The thief must have been surprised, but perhaps he couldn't simply say, "I am the thief," and stood there looking composed. He still had his hands in his pockets. However, since he was handcuffed, there was no concern about him trying to escape even if he wanted to. Normally, one would understand the situation from this demeanor, but this master had a habit of unnecessarily revering officials and police, which was not typical of contemporary people. He believed that the authority of the government was something to be feared greatly. Theoretically, he understood that patrol officers were guards hired with their own money, but when faced with them in reality, he would behave strangely subserviently. The master’s father had once been a village head in a backwater area, and perhaps the habit of bowing to those above him was passed down to his son as a consequence. It is truly a pitiable situation.

The patrol officer seemed to find it amusing, grinning as he said, "Please come to the Nihonbashi substation by 9 AM tomorrow. -- What were the stolen items again?"

He started to say, "The stolen items are..." but unfortunately, the master had almost forgotten. The only thing he remembered was the yam from Tatarayama Sanpei. He thought that the yam didn’t really matter, but it felt embarrassing to be unable to provide a clear answer about the stolen items after starting to say, "The stolen items are..." It was evident that he was not a competent person; after all, if someone else had been stolen from, that would be one thing, but having been stolen from himself and not being able to give a clear answer was proof of his inadequacy. He mustered the courage to add, "The stolen items are... a box of yams."

The thief seemed to find it quite amusing at that moment, looking down and tucking his chin into the collar of his kimono. Meitei laughed heartily and said, "It seems you were quite attached to the yams." The patrol officer, however, was unexpectedly serious.

"It seems that yam from the mountains won't be available, but other items have mostly returned. -- Well, you'll understand once you come here. So, when you hand it over, a receipt will come in, so don't forget to bring your seal. -- You must come by nine o'clock. This is the Nihonbashi Police Substation. -- It's the Nihonbashi Police Substation under the jurisdiction of the Asakusa Police Station. Well then, goodbye," he said to himself as he walked away. The thief followed and exited through the gate. Unable to reach out, he couldn't close the gate and left it wide open. Though feeling intimidated, he seemed dissatisfied, puffing out his cheeks and cutting off the conversation sharply.

"Ahahaha, you really respect detectives, don't you? If only you could always maintain such a humble attitude, you'd be a good man, but you're only polite to the patrol officers, which is a problem."

"But they went out of their way to inform me."

"Even if they came to inform you, it's still business. If you treat it as a matter of course, that's enough."

"However, it's not just business."

"Of course, it's not just business. It's a detestable profession called detective work. It's inferior to ordinary business."

"If you say such things, you'll end up in serious trouble."

"Hahaha, then let's stop speaking ill of detectives. However, while it's understandable to respect detectives, it's hard not to be surprised that you respect thieves."

"Who wants to respect a thief?"

"You did."

"There's no way I would approach a thief."

"No way? You bowed to the thief, didn't you?"

"When did I go?"

"Just now, you bowed your head."

"Don't say foolish things, that was a detective."

"Do detectives stand like that?"

"That's exactly why they stand like that."

"You're stubborn."

"You're the one who's stubborn."

"First of all, it's not normal for a detective to come to someone's place and stand there with their hands in their pockets."

"Not all detectives avoid putting their hands in their pockets."

"If you come at me so intimidatingly, I'm impressed. While you were bowing, that guy just stayed the same."

"Since he's a detective, that might be understandable."

"He seems overly confident. No matter how much I say, he won't listen."

"He won't listen. You're just saying he's a thief with your mouth, but you haven't seen that thief actually break in. You're just stubbornly thinking that way on your own."

It seemed that Meitei had given up, realizing he was dealing with an unmanageable man, and unlike usual, he fell silent. The master was quite pleased, thinking he had finally put Meitei in his place after a long time. From Meitei's perspective, the master's value seemed to have decreased just by being stubborn, but from the master's viewpoint, he felt superior to Meitei by being obstinate. Such strange things exist in the world. While one feels victorious by being stubborn, their own evaluation significantly decreases. Strangely, the stubborn person remains under the illusion of maintaining their dignity until death, never realizing that afterward, people despise them and ignore them. What a fortunate thing that is. This kind of happiness is said to be called pig-like happiness.

"Anyway, are you planning to go tomorrow?"

"I am. I was told to come by nine, so I'll leave at eight."

"What about school?"

"I'll skip it. Who cares about school?" he said dismissively.

"That's quite a bold attitude. Is it really okay to skip?"

"Of course, my school pays monthly, so there's no worry about deductions, it's all good," he confessed honestly. Being sneaky is one thing, but being simple is another.

"It's fine for you to go, but do you know the way?"

"There's no way I would know. If I just get in the car and go, there won't be a problem," he said, irritated.

"To become a Tokyo expert passed down from my uncle in Shizuoka, I'm impressed."

"Feel free to be impressed as much as you want."

"Hahaha, the Nihonbashi Police Station isn't the ordinary place you think it is. It's Yoshiwara."

"What did you say?"

"It's Yoshiwara."

"That Yoshiwara with the brothels?"

"That's right, there's only one Yoshiwara in Tokyo. So, what do you think? Are you going to give it a try?" Mei-tei began to tease again.

The master hesitated a bit at the mention of Yoshiwara, but quickly reconsidered and said, "Whether it's Yoshiwara or a brothel, once I've decided to go, I will definitely go," stubbornly. Fools tend to be stubborn in such situations.

Mei-tei simply said, "Well, it should be interesting, go take a look." The criminal case that had stirred things up settled down for the time being. Mei-tei continued to chat as usual, and as dusk approached, he said he would head home before it got too late, or his uncle would get angry.

After Mei-tei left, the master finished his dinner and returned to the study, clasped his hands, and began to think.

Yagi Dokusen-kun, whom I greatly admired and tried to emulate, seems, according to Meitei's account, not to be a person worth emulating in particular. Moreover, the theories he advocates appear to be quite absurd, and as Meitei says, there seems to be a touch of madness about them. Not to mention, he has two splendid followers who are madmen. It is extremely dangerous. If one gets too close, one might be dragged into the same category. The person I was astonished by in writing, whom I believed to be a great figure with profound insight, Tendō Kōhei, is actually a pure madman who still resides in the Sugamo hospital. No matter how exaggerated Meitei's descriptions may be, it is likely true that he has made a name for himself in a mental hospital and considers himself the leader of Tendō. When I think about it this way, I might also have some peculiarities. Since it is said that those of the same temperament gather, beyond being impressed by the madman's theories—at least as far as showing sympathy towards those writings—I too must be someone close to madness. Even if I am not drawn into the same category, just living next door could lead to a situation where, before I know it, we are sitting together in the same room, sharing laughs. This is quite serious. Upon reflection, my brain's functioning has been surprisingly strange lately, coming up with unusual thoughts. Regardless of the chemical changes in parts of my brain, the transition of will into action and words has, strangely enough, lost much of its moderation. There is no dragon spring on my tongue, nor does a refreshing breeze arise from my armpits, but there is a scent of madness at the roots of my teeth, and a taste of madness at the tips of my muscles. What is to be done about this? It is becoming increasingly serious. Perhaps I have already become a proper patient. Fortunately, I have not yet harmed anyone or become a nuisance to society, which is why I still exist as a citizen of Tokyo without being expelled from the neighborhood.This is not a stage of passive assertiveness. First, I must check my pulse. However, it seems there is no change in the pulse. Is my head hot? There does not seem to be any particular sign of agitation. Still, I am somewhat worried.

The master was alone in the dimly lit room, troubled by thoughts swirling in his mind. As he compared himself to the insane, counting only their similarities, he realized he could not escape the realm of madness. It was the method that was wrong. By using the insane as a standard and drawing himself closer to that side in his thoughts, he likely arrived at such conclusions. If he were to use healthy people as a standard and place himself beside them in thought, perhaps the opposite result might emerge.

Let's start by considering those close at hand. What about the uncle who came today wearing a frock coat? Where should I place my heart... That person also has a somewhat suspicious side. Next, what about Kangetsu? He carries a lunch box and polishes balls from morning till night. That's also a bit unusual. Furthermore, what about Mitei? He seems to think that joking around is his calling. He must be a truly cheerful madman. Next is Kaneda's wife. Her poisonous nature is beyond common sense. It reaches the extremes of pure madness. Finally, it's Kaneda-kun's turn. Although I have never met him, seeing him play the koto while honoring his wife suggests he must be an extraordinary person. Since the extraordinary is another name for madness, it is not a problem to include him in the same category.

Upon further reflection, there are also the people from Rakugunkan. They may be young in age, but in terms of mania, they are heroes worthy of a lifetime of emptiness. When I count them up like this, most people are quite similar. Surprisingly, my heart has grown stronger. Perhaps society as a whole is a gathering of the insane. The mad gather, quarrel, clash, insult one another, and compete, and the whole of it lives as a collective, collapsing and rising like cells in a body; that is perhaps what society is.

Among them, a person who understands a little and has discernment may, conversely, become a hindrance, so they might create something like an asylum and confine such individuals there so they cannot escape. As a result, the ones locked up in the asylum are ordinary people, while those rampaging outside might actually be the insane. The insane may remain insane as long as they are isolated, but when they form a group and gain power, they might become sane. When we see a large insane person abusing wealth or power to manipulate many smaller insane individuals and committing acts of violence, there are not a few instances where they are called a respectable man. It has all become incomprehensible.

This describes the movement of the master's mind as he deeply contemplated under the dim light that night. The opacity in his mind is prominently reflected here as well. Despite having a Kaiser mustache, he possessed such mediocrity that he could not even distinguish between the insane and the ordinary. Even though he raised this issue and appealed to his own capacity for thought, he ultimately ended up reaching no conclusion. He is a man who lacks the power to think thoroughly. The ambiguity of his conclusion is as elusive as the smoke rising from his nose, and it is a fact that should be remembered as the only characteristic of his argument.

I am a cat. Some may wonder how a cat can describe the master's mind so precisely, but such things are nothing for a cat. I possess the ability to read minds. It doesn't matter when I acquired this skill, so there's no need to ask such unnecessary questions. In any case, I have it. While sleeping on a human's lap, I gently rub my soft fur against their belly. Then, as if electricity is running through, the circumstances within their belly vividly reflect in my mind's eye.

Recently, my husband gently stroked my head and suddenly came up with the outrageous idea, "If we were to skin this cat and make a coat out of it, it would surely be warm." I instantly sensed this ridiculous thought and couldn't help but shudder. It's a frightening thing. That night, I was fortunate enough to convey to everyone the thoughts that had crossed my husband's mind, which were beyond what I could have imagined. It is a great honor for me. However, my husband, upon thinking, "I don't know what's what anymore," fell into a deep sleep. By tomorrow, he will surely forget what he was thinking to what extent. If my husband ever thinks about insanity again, he will have to start rethinking everything from scratch. Whether this path leads to such a state of "not knowing what's what" is uncertain. However, no matter how many times I rethink it or whatever path I take, it is certain that I will ultimately end up "not knowing what's what."