Six (1/3)

by Natsume Sōseki

In this heat, even cats cannot endure it. I recall a story about a man named Sydney Smith from England, who suffered and wanted to shed his skin, his flesh, and just be left with bones to cool off. I don't need to become just bones; at least I want to wash this pale gray mottled fur, or at least feel like putting it away for a while.

From a human perspective, cats seem to have the same expression all year round, as if they live with a single facade through spring, summer, autumn, and winter. However, cats also feel heat and cold. Sometimes they might want to take a bath, but pouring hot water over this fur makes it difficult to dry. Therefore, they have never entered a wash basin even once. Occasionally, they might want to try using a fan, but since they cannot grip it, there is no choice.

Considering this, humans are extravagant creatures. They go out of their way to boil, grill, pickle, or season things that should be eaten raw, enjoying each other's company. The same goes for clothing. It may be impossible for them to wear the same thing all year round like cats, but there is no need for them to live with such a variety of things on their skin. It is not an exaggeration to say that benefiting from sheep, silkworms, and cotton fields is a result of extravagance and incompetence.

While it can be forgiven to overlook food and clothing, I cannot understand at all why they push this attitude even into areas that are not directly related to survival. After all, hair grows naturally, so leaving it alone should be the easiest and best option for the individual. Yet, humans unnecessarily put in effort to create various styles and take pride in it. Those who call themselves monks always dye their heads blue. When it's hot, they wear a parasol over it, and when it's cold, they wrap it in a hood. I cannot understand the purpose of having blue hair if this is the case.

Moreover, there are those who are delighted to part their hair left and right using a meaningless tool called a comb. If it is not divided evenly, it creates an artificial division on the skull in a seven-to-three ratio. Some even have that partition extending over the crown to the back. It looks just like a fake banana leaf. Next, they shave their heads flat and cut the sides straight off. Since they are fitting a square frame onto a round head, it only looks like a cedar fence made by a gardener. Furthermore, there are styles like five-point cuts, three-point cuts, and even one-point cuts, so eventually, there might be a new trend of shaving all the way to the back of the head, creating minus one-point cuts and minus three-point cuts.

Anyway, I cannot understand what they intend to achieve by torturing themselves so much. In the first place, having four legs but only using two is extravagant. Walking on four legs would be so much easier, yet they always manage with just two, leaving the other two hanging uselessly, which is absurd. Looking at it this way, humans seem to be much more idle than cats, coming up with such pointless ideas to entertain themselves out of boredom. What’s interesting, though, is that these idle people spread the word around that they are busy, and their expressions genuinely look busy, to the point where it seems they might actually be consumed by their busyness.

Among them, there are those who look at me and say, "It must be easy to be like that," but if it’s comfortable, then that’s fine. I don’t want them to be so rushed. Complaining about the burdens they’ve added themselves is like saying they are hot while stoking their own fire. Even cats wouldn’t be able to remain this relaxed if they had to come up with twenty different ways to cut their hair. If they want to be relaxed, they should practice like me and wear fur even in summer.

That said, it is still a bit hot. The fur is really too hot.

In this state, I can't even take a nap. Since I haven't observed human society for a long time, I thought I would take a look at how they are enjoying themselves today after a long time, but unfortunately, my master is very much like a cat in this regard. He takes his naps just as seriously as I do, and especially after the summer vacation, he does not do a single human-like job, so no matter how much I observe, it is completely uninteresting.

At such a time, if Meitei comes, my weak stomach skin might react a little, and I could stay away from the cat for a while, but I think it's also a good time for the teacher to come, when suddenly I hear someone splashing water in the bathroom. It's not just the sound of water; occasionally, a loud voice rings out throughout the house saying, "No, that's fine," "I feel quite good," and "One more cup." There is no one else who comes to my master's house and behaves so rudely with such a loud voice. It must be Meitei.

Finally, he has arrived; I thought I could waste half of today with this, and the teacher, wiping his sweat, shoulders in, and as usual, barges into the tatami room and calls out, "Madam, what happened to Kurusami-kun?" while throwing his hat onto the tatami. The lady, who was comfortably sleeping with her head down by the sewing box in the next room, was startled awake by a loud sound that resonated in her eardrums, and when she groggily came out to the tatami room, she found Meitei sitting there in Satsuma cotton, fanning himself repeatedly.

"Welcome," she said, but looking a bit flustered, she added, "I had no idea at all," bowing while sweating on the tip of her nose. "No, I just arrived. I had water splashed on me in the bathroom and finally came back to life. It's hot, isn't it?" he said.

“These past few days, just sitting still makes me sweat; it’s really hot. How about you?” she asked without even wiping the sweat from her nose. “Yes, thank you. It’s hot, but it’s not that different; this heat is something special. I feel sluggish,” he continued.

“I’ve never taken a nap, but when it’s this hot, I just…” she said, to which he cheerfully replied, “Do you think so? That sounds good. If you can take a nap and sleep at night too, that would be wonderful.” However, it seemed that wasn’t enough for him, as he added, “I’m the type who doesn’t want to sleep. I envy people like Kurumi-kun who sleep every time they come over. Of course, this heat is tough on someone with a weak stomach like mine. Even strong people find it boring to rest their necks on their shoulders today,” Meitei-kun was unusually troubled by how to handle his neck.

“Your wife must have something resting on her neck, so she can’t sit still. Just the weight of her hairstyle would make anyone want to lie down,” he said, and she thought that her sleeping position had been revealed by the shape of her hairstyle, and began to fuss with her head while saying, “Hohoho, what a mean thing to say.”

Meitei didn’t mind such things and said, “Madam, yesterday I tried frying eggs on the roof.” “What happened with the frying?” she asked. “The roof tiles were so beautifully baked that I thought it would be a waste just to leave them, so I melted some butter and dropped the eggs on,” he continued. “Oh my,” she exclaimed in surprise.

“However, the sun didn’t go as I hoped. It didn’t become soft-boiled for a long time, so I went downstairs to read the newspaper, and when a guest came, I completely forgot about it. This morning, I suddenly remembered and thought it would be fine, but when I went up to check…” he said. “What happened?” she asked. “Far from being soft-boiled, it completely flowed out,” he replied. “Oh dear,” she said, frowning in surprise.

“But it’s strange that it’s so cool during the Doyou period, and it’s starting to get hot now,” she said. “That’s really true. Just the other day, it was cold in a thin kimono, but it suddenly got hot since the day before yesterday,” he replied. “If it were crabs, they would crawl sideways, but this year’s climate seems to go backward. It might be saying something like going in reverse and applying things backward,” he said. “What do you mean by that?” she asked. “No, it’s nothing. This reversal of climate is just like Hercules’ cattle,” he said, but it seemed she didn’t understand. However, since she had learned a bit from the previous talk about going in reverse and applying things backward, this time she just said, “Oh really,” and didn’t ask further.

Unless this is questioned back, Meitei's story will end up being wasted. "Madam, do you know about Hercules' cattle?" he asked. "I don't know such cattle," she replied. "You don't know? Shall I give you a little lecture?" he said, to which she couldn't quite refuse, so she answered, "Yes." "Once, Hercules pulled the cattle," he said, to which she asked, "Is that Hercules a cattle herder?" "He's not a cattle herder. He's not a cattle herder or a husband of any kind. This was back when there wasn't a single butcher shop in Greece," he explained. "Oh, is this a story from Greece? Then you should have said so," she said.

“But isn't it Hercules?” he said, to which she asked, “Is Hercules from Greece?” “Yes, Hercules is a hero from Greece,” he replied. “No wonder I thought I didn't know. So what happened to that man?” she asked with interest. “That man, madam, as you can see, became sleepy and fell into a deep sleep,” he said, to which she reacted, “Oh dear.”

“While he was sleeping, the child of Vulcan came,” he continued. “What is Vulcan?” she asked. “Vulcan is a blacksmith. This blacksmith's child stole the cattle. However, since he was pulling it by the tail, Hercules woke up and was calling out for the cattle, but he couldn't figure it out. Of course, he wouldn't be able to figure it out, because the cattle were dragged backward instead of being pulled forward, leaving footprints behind. For a blacksmith's child, that's quite something,” Meitei had already forgotten about the weather and continued his story.

"By the way, what happened to the master? Is he still napping as usual? Napping may be elegant as it appears in Chinese poetry, but doing it as a daily routine like Kurusami-kun seems a bit mundane. It's like dying a little every day, so, madam, could you please wake him up a bit?" As he urged, she seemed to agree, saying, "Yes, that really is a problem. First of all, you see, his health is only getting worse. He just had a meal, too." As she was about to stand up, Meitei said, "Madam, speaking of meals, I haven't had mine yet." With a calm expression. "Oh dear, I didn't notice it was time at all... Well, there's nothing else, but how about some tea over rice?" she suggested. "No, I don't need tea over rice," he replied. "Even so, you know there isn't really anything that would suit your taste," she said with a hint of sarcasm. Meitei, as if he understood, said, "No, I would prefer not to have tea over rice or hot water over rice. I have a feast prepared in the middle of the way, so I will have that here." She was simply surprised and said, "Oh my!" but within that "oh my" was a mix of surprise, displeasure, and gratitude for the saved trouble.

Since the master was unusually noisy, Meitei was woken up from his drowsiness and stumbled out of the study. "What a noisy man as usual. I was just about to sleep peacefully," he said with a yawn, making a sullen face. The master said, "Oh, you're awake. I apologize for startling you, Houmin. But it's okay once in a while. Now, sit down," greeting him in a way that made it hard to tell who was the guest.

Meitei sat in silence and took out a "Asahi" from his inlaid tobacco pouch and began to smoke. Suddenly, he noticed his own hat rolling in the corner across from him and said, "You bought a hat, didn't you?" Meitei immediately presented the hat proudly in front of his master and his wife, saying, "Well, isn't it beautiful? It's very finely woven and soft." The wife kept stroking it and said, "Oh, it really is lovely." "Madam, this hat is quite handy; it listens to whatever you say," he said, clenching his fist and giving the side of the Panama hat a light tap, and indeed, a hole the size of his fist opened up. Before the wife could say "Oh," he then put his fist inside from the back and pushed hard, causing the top of the hat to point up. Next, he took the hat off and showed how he could crush the brim from both sides. The crushed hat became flat like soba noodles rolled out with a rolling pin. He then rolled it up like wrapping a mat from one end. "How about this?" he said, showing the rolled-up hat as he put it into his pocket. "That's amazing," the wife exclaimed, as if she were watching a magic trick by Kitten Saijouichi. Meitei seemed to get into it as well, deliberately pulling the hat he had tucked into his right pocket out from his left cuff and saying, "There's no damage at all," restoring it to its original shape and spinning the bottom of the hat on the tip of his index finger.

Just when I thought I could finally rest, I was suddenly thrown backward, and on top of that, I boldly sat down on my rear. "Are you okay?" even the master looked worried. Of course, the lady was concerned too, saying, "It would be terrible if you broke such a magnificent hat, so you should probably stop now." The owner was the only one who was good at it, and "But it's interesting because it doesn't break," he said, pulling out the crumpled hat from under his bottom and placing it on his head. Strangely enough, it immediately regained its shape to fit his head. "What a sturdy hat, I wonder why," the lady said, increasingly impressed, to which Meitei replied while still wearing the hat, "There's nothing special about it; it's just a hat like this from the beginning."

“You should buy a hat like that too,” the lady suggested to her husband after a while. “But Kusahama-kun has a splendid straw one, doesn’t he?” “However, the other day, the child stepped on it and crushed it.” “Oh dear, that’s unfortunate.” “So I thought this time you should buy a sturdy and beautiful one like yours,” the lady said, not knowing the price of a Panama hat, and kept recommending to her husband, “Get this one, okay?”

Meitei-kun then took out a pair of red-cased scissors from his right sleeve and showed them to his wife. "Dear, let's put the hat aside and look at these scissors. They are incredibly useful and can be used in fourteen different ways." If these scissors hadn't appeared, the master would have been in trouble with his wife over the Panama issue, but fortunately, thanks to her curiosity, I thought it was more luck than Meitei's cleverness that they avoided this misfortune. "How can these scissors be used in fourteen different ways?" As soon as I asked, Meitei-kun, in a very proud tone, said, "Now, I'll explain each one, so please listen. Alright? Here, there is a crescent-shaped notch. You put a cigar here and it cuts the end cleanly. Then, there is a little trick at the base, and you can use it to poke holes in wire. Next, if you flatten it and lay it sideways on paper, it serves as a ruler. Also, the back of the blade has markings, so it can be used as a measuring stick. The front has a file attached, which you can use to polish your nails. If you push it in hard and pry it open, most nailed boxes can be opened easily. Truly, the tip of this blade can also be used as an awl. This part is for scraping off mistakes in writing, and if you separate it, it becomes a knife. And lastly—now, dear, this last one is very interesting, there is a ball here about the size of a fly's eyeball. Please take a peek at it." "No way, you'll surely do something silly again." "It’s troubling if you don’t trust me. But, just for a moment, please take a look. Huh? You don’t want to? Just a little bit." He handed the scissors to his wife. She hesitantly took the scissors and placed her eye on the spot where the fly's eyeball was supposed to be, repeatedly...She is peering in. "How is it?" "It seems completely black." "It can't be completely black. Turn a bit more towards the shoji, and don't lay the scissors down like that—yes, yes, that should make it visible." "Oh my, it's a photograph. Why did they stick such a small photo on?" "That's the interesting part," the lady and Meitei are continuously questioning each other. The master, who had been silent from the beginning, suddenly seemed to want to see the photograph and said, "Hey, let me see a bit too." The lady, pressing the scissors against her face, replied, "It's really beautiful, a nude beauty," and wouldn't let go. "I said to show me a bit," the master insisted. "Well, please wait. She has beautiful hair, it goes down to her waist. Just look up a little, what a terrifyingly tall woman, but she's beautiful," she continued. "If you say to show me, then just show it properly," the master urged impatiently, confronting the lady. "Well, I kept you waiting, take a good look," she said as she handed the scissors to the master, and from the kitchen, Osan brought the customer's order. Two servings of zarusoba were brought into the room.

"Madam, this is the feast I made myself. Excuse me for a moment, but I'll be having it here," he said, bowing politely. His demeanor was hard to tell if he was serious or joking, which seemed to trouble the lady, and she lightly replied, "Well, please go ahead," and just watched over him.

The master finally took his eyes off the photograph and said, "You know, soba is poison in this heat." "It's fine, I rarely get sick from what I like," he replied while lifting the lid of the steamer. "Freshly made soba is wonderful. Both soba stretching and humans being absent-minded have their origins, don't they?" he said as he added condiments to the dipping sauce and stirred it all up chaotically.

"You know, if you add that much wasabi, it's going to be spicy," the owner cautioned with concern. "Soba is meant to be eaten with dipping sauce and wasabi. You must not like soba." "I like udon." "Udon is something that a child would eat. There is nothing more pitiful than someone who cannot appreciate the taste of soba," he said, thrusting the wooden chopsticks in carelessly and scooping up as much soba as possible to a height of about two inches.

"Madam, there are various ways to eat soba, but beginners just recklessly dip it in the sauce and chew it around in their mouths. They won't understand the taste of soba that way. Like this, you hook it in one bite," he said, lifting the chopsticks, and a long strand of soba was lifted about a foot into the air. When Meitei-sensei looked down, there were still about twelve or thirteen strands of soba that had not separated from the bottom of the steamer and were tangled up on the bamboo mat. "This one is long, isn't it, madam? How do you find this length?" he asked the lady again. The lady replied, "It is indeed long," as if impressed.

"You dip this long soba in a third of the sauce and swallow it in one bite. You mustn't chew. If you chew, the taste of soba will disappear. The way it smoothly slides down your throat is what makes it good," he said, raising the chopsticks high with determination, and the soba finally left the ground. As he gradually dropped the soba into the teacup held in his left hand, soaking it from the tip of the tail, according to the theory of Archimedes, the amount of sauce increased as the soba soaked. However, since the teacup already had sauce filled to eight-tenths, before even a quarter of the soba on Meitei's chopsticks could soak, the teacup was already full of sauce. Meitei's chopsticks stopped precisely five inches away from the teacup and remained still for a while. It was no wonder they didn't move. If he moved even a little, the sauce would overflow.

Mitei was hesitating a little at this point, but before he knew it, he swiftly brought his mouth towards the chopsticks, and with a slurping sound, his throat moved up and down once or twice. The soba at the end of the chopsticks had disappeared. Looking closely, a couple of drops resembling tears were flowing from Mitei's eyes down to his cheeks. It was unclear whether it was the wasabi that had affected him or if he struggled to swallow; this remains uncertain. "Impressive. I can't believe you managed to swallow so much at once," the host remarked, to which the wife also praised Mitei's skill, saying, "What a magnificent display!" Mitei placed his chopsticks down without saying anything and patted his chest two or three times. "Madam, zaru soba is usually eaten in about three and a half or four bites. If you take more than that, you won't be able to eat it well," he said, wiping his mouth with a handkerchief and taking a short breath.

At that moment, Kangu was wearing a winter hat for some reason despite the heat and arrived with both feet covered in dust. "Ah, a handsome young man has arrived, but since I'm in the middle of eating, please excuse me for a moment," Mitei said, not caring about the gazes of those around him, as he opened the remaining steamer. This time, instead of the remarkable way he had eaten earlier, he elegantly handled two steamers without any awkwardness, using a handkerchief to take a breath midway.

"Kangu, have you finished your doctoral thesis yet?" the host asked, and Mitei followed up, saying, "Since Miss Kaneda is waiting, you should submit it quickly."

Kangu wore his usual eerie smile and replied, "It's a crime, so I want to submit it as soon as possible to put her mind at ease, but the problem is quite a challenge and requires considerable effort for research," in a tone that was hard to tell if it was a joke or serious.

"That's right, because the problem is a problem, it won't go as the nose says. However, that nose is certainly worth observing," Mitei responded, returning Kangu's greeting in his style. The host was relatively serious. "What was the problem with your thesis again?"

"It's the effect of ultraviolet rays on the electric action of frog's eyeballs," Kangetsu-kun replied.

"That's strange. As expected of you, Kangetsu-sensei, the frog's eyeballs are vibrating. What do you think, Kusami-kun? Shouldn't you at least inform the Kaneda family about that issue before your paper is finished?" the master said, but Meitei did not pay attention to his words. "Is it really such a laborious study?"

"Yes, it's quite a complex issue. First of all, the structure of the lens in a frog's eyeball is not that simple. So I have to conduct various experiments, but I think I'll start by making a round glass sphere," he said.

"A glass sphere? You can easily get one from a glass shop," the master said, to which Kangetsu-kun replied somewhat defiantly. "Originally, circles and straight lines are geometric concepts, and ideal circles and straight lines that fit that definition do not exist in the real world."

"If they don't exist, then why not discard them?" Meitei interjected. "So, I thought I would first try to make a sphere that wouldn't cause any experimental issues, and I've started working on it since a few days ago."

"Have you made any progress?" the master asked.

"Is it even possible?" Kangetsu-kun replied, but feeling a bit contradictory, he added, "It's quite difficult. As I gradually polish it, if I think the radius on this side is too long and I reduce it a bit, then the other side becomes longer. After finally managing to remove this distortion, the diameter goes off again. At first, I had something the size of an apple, which gradually got smaller to the size of a strawberry, and if I keep at it patiently, it becomes the size of a soybean. Even then, it still doesn't become a perfect circle. I've polished quite diligently, and since this New Year, I've ground down six glass balls of various sizes," he said, continuing to speak passionately, though the truth of it was uncertain.

"Where are you polishing so much?" the master asked.

"As expected, in the school's laboratory. I start polishing in the morning, take a little break during lunch, and then keep polishing until it gets dark, but it's not easy at all," he replied.

“Well then, you’ve been saying you’re busy lately, and going to school every Sunday is to polish those beads, isn’t it?”

“Indeed, at the moment, I’m polishing beads from morning till night.”

“You might become a doctor of bead-making. However, hearing about your enthusiasm, even the nose would appreciate it a little. Actually, the other day, when I was returning from the library after some business, I happened to run into Old Ume. I thought it was quite strange that he would head to the library after graduation, and while I was impressed, the teacher made a strange face and said, ‘I didn’t come to read books, I just happened to pass by the gate and felt the need for a little break, so I stopped by to borrow.’ He laughed heartily. I definitely want to include Old Ume as a good example opposite to you in the New Selection of Mongyu,” Mei-ting continued to talk at length as usual.

The master became a bit serious and asked, “You know, it’s fine to polish beads every day like that, but when do you plan to finish?”

“Well, at this rate, it seems it will take about ten years,” Kangetsu-kun appeared more carefree than the master.

“Ten years? — It would be better to polish them up a bit faster.”

“Ten years is on the quicker side. Depending on circumstances, it might take about twenty years.”

“That’s quite a challenge; then you won’t easily become a doctor, will you?”

“Yes, I want to become one as soon as possible to put your mind at ease, but anyway, I must polish the beads; otherwise, I can’t conduct the crucial experiments…”