Two (3/4)

by Natsume Sōseki

Mr. Tōfū drank the cold tea in one gulp and said in a serious tone, "Actually, I came here today to ask you for a favor."

The host, not to be outdone, replied, "Oh, do you have something to discuss?"

"As you know, I have a fondness for literature and art..."

"That's quite nice," the host showed interest.

"Recently, I organized a reading club with some comrades, and we plan to meet once a month to continue our research in this area. We just held the first session at the end of last year."

"A reading club, is it something like reading poems or prose with some rhythm? Specifically, how do you do it?"

"We plan to start with works of ancient authors and gradually include our own creations."

"When you say works of ancient authors, do you mean something like Bai Juyi's 'Song of the Pipa'?"

"No."

"Is it something like Buson's 'Spring Breeze on the Horse Path'?"

"No."

"Then what kind of works did you do?"

"The other day, we did a work by Chikamatsu about love suicides."

"Chikamatsu? The Chikamatsu of Jōruri?" The two were surprised. When mentioning Chikamatsu, it refers to the playwright Chikamatsu.

The host, upon hearing this, perhaps thought it was a bit foolish, and gently patted my head without understanding anything. In this world, there are people who are liked for their foolishness, so such misunderstandings are not surprising, and I let him pat my head.

"Yes," replied Mr. Tōfū, observing the host's expression. "So, do you read alone, or do you divide the roles?"

"We divided the roles and performed in a dialogue format. The main purpose is to empathize with the characters in the work and bring out their personalities, adding gestures and body language. The aim is to portray the people of that era as accurately as possible, whether it's a young lady or a servant, fully embodying those characters."

"Then, isn't it like watching a play?"

"Yes, it's just that we don't have costumes or set pieces."

"Excuse me, but does it go well?"

"Well, I think it was a success for the first session."

"So, what about the recent play on double suicide?"

"It's about a boatman taking passengers to Yoshihara."

"You put on quite a performance." The teacher tilted his head slightly. Smoke that burst from his nose brushed past his ears and flowed by the side of his face.

"Oh, it's not that big of a deal. The characters are just the passenger, the boatman, the courtesan, the waitress, the helper, and the audience." Toufuu-kun remained calm.

The master made a slightly bitter face upon hearing the name "courtesan," but seemed to lack clear knowledge about the terms waitress, helper, and audience, so he first threw out a question. "Is the waitress something like a maid in a brothel?"

"I haven't studied it well yet, but I think the waitress is a maid in a teahouse, and the helper is something like an assistant in the women's quarters." Although Toufuu-kun had just mentioned using a temporary color for that character, he seemed not to fully understand the nature of the helper and waitress.

"I see, so the waitress is someone who is subordinate to the teahouse, and the helper is someone who resides in a brothel. Next, is the audience a person, or does it refer to a specific place? If it's a person, is it a man or a woman?"

"I think the audience is a male person."

"What role do they play?"

"Well, I haven't researched that far yet. I'll look into it eventually." I glanced up at the master's face, thinking that if we performed this dialogue, it would likely turn out to be quite absurd. Surprisingly, the master was serious.

"So, besides you, what other readers participated?"

"There were various people. The courtesan was K-kun, a law student, but he had a mustache and used sweet lines meant for women, which was a bit odd. Also, there are parts where that courtesan has fits..."

"Do you have to have fits even in the reading?" the master asked with concern.

"Yes, anyway, expression is important." Toufuu-kun was completely in the mindset of a literary artist.

"Did you manage to have fits well?" the master remarked with a warning tone.

“It was a bit too much for the first round,” said Higashikaze-kun, also offering a warning.

“By the way, what role did you play?” the host asked.

“I was the boatman.”

“Oh, you were the boatman?” There was a tone that suggested if you could be a boatman, then I could at least manage to be a spectator. Eventually, he confessed, “Was being the boatman too much for you?”

Higashikaze-kun, showing no particular sign of being offended, replied in a calm tone, “That boatman ended up making the event a dragon head and snake tail. In fact, there were four or five female students lodging next to the venue, and they seemed to have heard somewhere that there was a reading session that day, so they came to listen under the window of the venue. I was using the temporary color of the boatman, and finally feeling confident that this would be alright, I got carried away... In other words, I must have gestured too much, and the female students who had been holding back suddenly burst out laughing, which was both surprising and awkward, and after that, I couldn’t continue at all, and ultimately, we ended the session right there.”

Considering that this reading session, which was deemed a success for the first round, led to such a failure, I couldn’t help but laugh. I involuntarily made a rumbling sound in my throat. The host gently patted my head. While it’s nice to be laughed at and cherished, there’s also something a bit eerie about it.

“That’s quite something,” the host said, offering a eulogy right at the start of the new year.

“For the second round, I plan to be more extravagant and hold it grandly, and today’s appearance was entirely for that purpose. In fact, I would like to ask you to join and lend your efforts as well.”

“I really can’t cause any trouble,” the passive host began to decline immediately.

“No, there’s no need to cause any trouble, so here is the list of supporters.” Saying this, he carefully takes out a small notebook from a purple wrapping cloth. “I would like to ask you to please sign and stamp here.” He places the notebook open in front of the master’s knees. Looking at it, the names of the currently well-known literary doctors and scholars are neatly lined up.

“Well, it’s not that I can’t become a supporter, but what kind of obligations are there?” Mr. Kaki appears to be concerned.

“As for obligations, there’s really nothing that I particularly wish for; it’s just enough to write your name to show your support.”

“In that case, I will join.” As soon as he learns that there are no obligations, the master suddenly becomes more relaxed. Knowing that there is no responsibility, he looks as if he would even sign a rebellion document. Furthermore, having his name included among the names of renowned scholars is an unparalleled honor for the master, who has never encountered such a thing before, so it’s no wonder he responds with enthusiasm.

“Excuse me for a moment.” The master goes into the study to get the seal. I drop down heavily onto the tatami. Mr. Toufuu picks up a piece of castella from the dessert plate and stuffs it into his mouth in one bite. He seems to struggle for a while, looking uncomfortable. I recall the incident with the zoni from this morning. When the master came out of the study with the seal, the castella had just settled in Mr. Toufuu’s stomach. The master doesn’t seem to notice that the castella on the dessert plate has completely run out. If he were to notice, I would be the first one suspected.

After Mr. Toufuu left, the master entered the study and noticed a letter from Mr. Meitei placed on the desk.

“Happy New Year greetings, congratulations. …”

Unlike usual, the master thought the content was serious. In Meitei's letters, there usually isn't much serious content. Just the other day, he received a message saying, "Since then, there have been no women particularly attracting love, and no romantic letters have arrived from anywhere, so please rest assured that I am doing reasonably well." Compared to that, this New Year's greeting was exceptionally worldly.

“I had thought to ask a little, but contrary to my older brother's pessimism, please understand that I am extremely busy every day with plans to welcome this unprecedented New Year as positively as possible…”

Indeed, thinking of that man, the master silently agreed with Meitei that he must be busy playing around during the New Year.

“Yesterday, I found a moment's opportunity and thought to treat Toshiko to a feast of tochi menbo, but unfortunately, I ran out of ingredients and could not fulfill that intention, which I am very sorry about…”

The master smiled silently, feeling that things were starting to return to their usual rhythm.

“Tomorrow is a certain baron's karuta meeting, the day after tomorrow is the aesthetics society's New Year banquet, the next day is Professor Toribe's welcome party, and the day after that is…”

The master skipped over it, thinking it was noisy.

“As there will be continued gatherings such as the Noh music meeting, haiku meeting, tanka meeting, and new-style poetry meeting, I will have no time to rest for the time being, so I must ask for your understanding in greeting you through a New Year's card…”

Thinking that it wouldn't matter if he didn't come, the master decided to write a reply to the letter.

“When you next come, I would like to treat you to dinner after a long time. There are no delicacies in the cold kitchen, but I am at least trying to prepare some tochi menbo from now on…”

Still talking about tochi menbo. The master felt a bit annoyed at the rudeness.

“However, due to a recent shortage of ingredients for the peacock tongue, it may not be ready in time, so in that case, I hope you can enjoy the peacock's tongue instead...”

The master felt compelled to read on, thinking he had been weighed against both sides.

“As you know, the amount of tongue meat from one peacock is less than half of a little finger, so to satisfy the hearty appetite of the elder brother…”

The master involuntarily exclaimed, “What a lie!”

“I believe we must capture at least twenty or thirty peacocks. However, while peacocks can be seen here and there in zoos and at the Hanayashiki in Asakusa, they are completely absent from ordinary bird shops. It is quite a struggle…”

The master showed no gratitude at all, thinking that he was struggling all on his own.

“The dish made from peacock tongue was very popular during the height of ancient Rome, and as someone who enjoys luxurious and refined things, I am always tempted by it, so I hope you can understand…”

“What is there to understand? How foolish,” the master thought, feeling extremely cold.

“Until around the 16th or 17th century, peacocks were considered an essential delicacy at banquets throughout Europe. I recall that when the Earl of Leicester invited Queen Elizabeth to Kenilworth, he certainly used peacocks. In the famous painting of a banquet by Rembrandt, a peacock is depicted lying on the table with its tail spread out…”

The master grumbled that if he was going to talk about the history of peacock dishes, he didn’t seem to be that busy after all.

“In any case, if I continue to eat feasts like recently, it is inevitable that I will soon become weak in the stomach like the elder brother…”

“Like the elder brother” was unnecessary. The master muttered that there was no need to use him as a standard for weak stomachs.

“According to historians, the Romans held banquets two or three times a day. If one has lavish meals two or three times a day, even the healthiest person will experience digestive issues. Therefore, naturally, like the elder brother…”

“Again with the elder brother, what a rude man,” the master thought.

“However, they devoted their research to reconcile luxury and hygiene, acknowledging the need to keep their digestive systems healthy while indulging excessively in delicious food, and thus devised a secret method...”

Indeed, the master suddenly became interested.

“They would always take a bath after meals, and after bathing, they would vomit everything they had eaten using a certain method, cleansing their stomachs. After purifying their stomachs, they would sit at the dining table again, enjoying delicacies to their heart's content, and if satisfied, they would enter the bath once more and vomit again. By doing this, even if they continued to indulge in their favorite foods, they would not suffer from any internal organ issues, and I foolishly think this is what is meant by a win-win situation...”

Indeed, it must be a win-win situation. The master made an envious face.

“In the twentieth century today, it goes without saying that transportation is frequent and banquets are increasing, and in this era of military affairs, we, the citizens of the victorious nation, are confident that we must study this bathing and vomiting technique, following the example of the Romans. Otherwise, I secretly worry that our great citizens will all become patients with stomach diseases like my elder brother in the near future...”

Like my elder brother again, he thought, what an irritating man.

“At this time, as those who are familiar with Western circumstances, we should investigate ancient histories and legends, discover the already extinct secret methods, and if we can apply them to the Meiji society, it may serve the merit of preventing calamities in advance and also repay the favor of monopolizing our usual pleasures...”

The master tilted his head, thinking it was somewhat strange.

“Therefore, I have been exploring the works of Gibbon, Monson, Smith, and others recently, but I am still unable to find a clue to my discovery, which is disappointing. However, as you know, I have a nature that never interrupts once I set my mind to something until I succeed, so I believe that the revival of the vomiting method will soon be realized. I will report this as soon as I make a discovery, so please be aware. Now, as I mentioned earlier, I would like to prepare the delicacies of the Tochimenbo and peacock's tongue after the discovery. That way, it will be convenient not only for me but also for my older brother, who is already suffering from a weak stomach. Sincerely, I apologize for any shortcomings.”

“What, have I finally been fooled? It was written so seriously that I ended up reading it all the way through, believing it. My master laughed and said that Meitei, who plays such a prank right at the beginning of the new year, must be quite a bored person.”

Then, four or five days passed without anything particularly happening. I thought it was boring to watch the white porcelain daffodils gradually wilt and the blue-stemmed plum blossoms slowly begin to open in the vase, so I tried visiting Miko once, but I couldn't meet her. At first, I thought she was out, but the second time I heard she was sick in bed. While hiding in the shadow of the water basin's leaves, I listened to the usual master and maid talking on the other side of the shoji, and they were discussing this.

“Is Miko eating?” she asked, and the reply came back, “No, she hasn't eaten anything since this morning. I kept her warm and let her sleep in the kotatsu.” It seemed somehow uncat-like. She was being treated almost like a human.

On one hand, I felt envious compared to my own circumstances, but on the other hand, I was also happy to see the cat I love receiving such generous treatment.

"It's really troublesome. If you don't eat, your body just gets tired," she says, to which the maid replies, "That's true. Even for us, if we don't eat for a day, we can't work well the next day." The maid responds as if the cat is a more superior animal than herself. In fact, in this house, the cat might be more important than the maid.

"Did you take it to the doctor?" she asks, and the maid replies, "Yes, that doctor is quite strange. When I took the calico into the examination room, he tried to take my pulse, thinking I had a cold. No, I'm not the patient. When I placed the calico on my lap, he smiled and said he didn't understand cat illnesses either, and that it would get better on its own if left alone. I was so frustrated. So I said, 'Then there's no need to see a doctor; this is still an important cat,' and quickly came back with the calico."

"That's true," the maid agrees.

The phrase "That's true" is never heard in my house. I am impressed that it is such a very elegant expression that can only be used by someone of the Tenjōin's status.

"It sounds like you're crying a bit..." "Yes, I'm sure it's a cold and my throat hurts. When you catch a cold, anyone gets a cough..."

Only the maid of the Tenjōin uses such overly polite language.

"Moreover, recently there has been an outbreak of something called tuberculosis," "If new diseases like tuberculosis and plague keep increasing as they have recently, we can't let our guard down," "It's a disease that didn't exist during the Edo period, so you need to be careful too," "Is that so?" the maid is moved.

"Even though you say you caught a cold, it seemed like you weren't out much..." "Well, you see, I've recently made some bad friends," the maid says proudly as if sharing a national secret.

When she asked, "A bad friend?", the maid replied, "Yes, it's that filthy tomcat at the teacher's place on the main street." "Is the teacher the one who makes that rude noise every morning?" "Yes, it's the person who makes a sound like a goose being strangled every time he washes his face."

The expression of a voice like a goose being strangled is truly on point. My master has a habit of making strange sounds without restraint when he gargles in the bathroom every morning, poking his throat with a toothpick. When he's in a bad mood, he makes particularly loud noises, and even when he's in a good mood, he raises his voice cheerfully. In other words, whether he's in a good or bad mood, he never stops making noise. According to my wife, he didn't have this habit before moving here, but once he started it one day, he hasn't stopped for a single day since. It's a bit of a troublesome habit, but why he continues this patiently is something we cats can hardly imagine. Still, I can't help but perk up my ears and listen, thinking that calling him a "filthy cat" is quite a harsh criticism.

"I don't know what curse he thinks he's casting with that voice. Before the Restoration, whether you were a servant or a footman, you knew the proper etiquette, and in the mansion town, there was no one who washed their face like that." "That's true," the maid said, unwittingly impressed, using "you know" without thinking.

"With a master like that, he's probably a stray cat. If he comes again, give him a little smack." "I'll give him a smack, alright. It's entirely his fault that the calico got sick, so I'll definitely take my revenge," she said.

What a ridiculous injustice to bear. This one couldn't get close, so the calico ended up leaving without ever meeting.

When I returned, my master was holding a brush in a contemplative manner in his study. I thought he would surely be angry if I told him about the reputation I heard from the two-stringed koto master, but as they say, ignorance is bliss; he was pretending to be a sacred poet while mumbling to himself.

Then, unexpectedly, Meitei-kun, who had sent a New Year's card saying he would be busy for a while and couldn't come, showed up. "Are you writing some new poetry? If you come up with something interesting, let me see," he said. "Yeah, I thought it was a pretty good piece of writing, so I was thinking of translating it," the master replied, opening his mouth with some difficulty. "Writing? Whose writing is it?" "I don't know whose it is." "An anonymous author, huh? There are quite a few good pieces by anonymous authors, so they can't be dismissed easily. By the way, where did you find it?" "In the Second Reader," the master answered calmly. "The Second Reader? What's up with the Second Reader?" "The famous writing I'm translating is in the Second Reader." "You're joking. You're trying to tackle the revenge of the peacock's tongue at a delicate point, aren't you?" "I'm not like a braggart like you," he said, twisting his mustache. He was quite composed. "Once, someone asked Sanyō if there were any recent famous writings, and Sanyō showed a debt collection letter written by a horse dealer, saying that this was probably the most recent famous writing. So your aesthetic sense might not be as bad as I thought. Here, read it, and I'll critique it for you," Meitei-sensei said, sounding like the authority on aesthetic sense. The master began to read in a voice like a Zen monk reciting the last words of Daidō-kōshi. "Giant, gravity." "What is this giant gravity?" "It's the title, Giant Gravity." "That's a strange title; I don't understand its meaning." "It's meant to refer to a giant that has the name gravity." "It seems a bit forced, but since it's the title, I'll concede for now. Then I'll read the main text quickly; your voice is good, so it should be quite interesting." "Don't interrupt," he warned beforehand and began reading again.

Kate was looking out the window. The children were playing by throwing a ball. They threw the ball high into the sky, and after a while, it came falling down. The children threw the ball high again, repeating it once more, three times in total. When Kate asked why the ball falls, why it goes up only to come down, her mother answered, "That's because a giant lives underground. He has giant gravity, and with a strong force, he attracts everything. Houses and people are also pulled to the ground by his power. If they weren't pulled, everyone would fly up into the sky. The leaves fall because the giant's gravity is calling them. When you drop a book, it's because the giant's gravity is saying 'come down.' The ball goes up into the sky because the giant's gravity is calling it, and then it comes down when called."

“Is that all?” Kate said. “Hmm, that's sweet,” her mother smiled. “No, I'm really surprised. I never thought you would think of something like this; you've truly amazed me this time, I give up,” she said, convincing herself and continuing to talk alone. The master did not understand at all. “I don't intend to make you give up. I just thought it was an interesting piece of writing, so I tried translating it,” her mother said. “No, it's really interesting. It can't be called real unless it's like this. It's wonderful, I'm humbled,” the master peered over his gold-rimmed glasses. “You don't have to be so humble. I've recently stopped doing watercolor painting, so I thought I would try writing instead,” she said. “It's incomparable to the indiscriminate perspective and black-and-white equality of watercolor painting. I'm truly impressed,” the master said. “If you praise me like that, it motivates me too,” her mother said, but the master remained completely misunderstanding.

At that moment, Kangetsu-kun entered and said, "I apologize for the other day." "No, it was my fault. Just now, I had the pleasure of listening to a remarkable piece of writing and have just exorcised the spirit of Tochimenbo," hinted Meitei-sensei, saying something incomprehensible. "Oh, is that so?" Kangetsu-kun replied with an equally incomprehensible greeting. Only the master did not seem to be in a cheerful mood. "The other day, a person named Ochi Tōfu came because of your introduction." "Ah, did he come? That Ochi Tōfu is a very honest person, but he has a few peculiarities, so I thought he might cause some trouble, but he insisted that I introduce him..." "It wasn't particularly troublesome, though..." "When he came here, didn't he say something about his own name?" "No, it seems there was no such talk." "I see, it's his habit to explain his name to anyone he meets for the first time." "What kind of explanation does he give?" Meitei-kun waited with great interest. "He gets very particular about how the name Tōfu is pronounced." "Really?" Meitei-sensei took out a cigarette from his golden tobacco pouch. "I always insist that my name is not Ochi Tōfu, but Ochi Kochi." "That's strange," said Meitei-sensei, genuinely enjoying those words. "It all comes from his literary passion; if read as Kochi, it becomes a phrase meaning 'far and near,' and he takes pride in the rhyme of his name. Therefore, when Tōfu is pronounced, he complains that people do not understand the effort he put into it." "I see, that's quite unusual," Meitei-sensei said, impressed, and exhaled smoke. The smoke caught in his throat, and he coughed. "He said that when he came the other day, he was the narrator at a reading session and was laughed at by the female students," the master said with a laugh. "Indeed, indeed," Meitei-sensei tapped his knee with his pipe.I was watching from a little distance. "The reading session came up the other day when I treated Tochimenbo. Apparently, for the second round, they plan to invite well-known writers and hold a grand event, so they would like to have you attend as well. Then, when I asked if they were going to do another Chikamatsu play this time, they said no, they chose something completely new and decided on Kin'iro Yasha. When I asked what role you would have, they said, 'I am the Miya.' The Miya of the East Wind should be interesting. I definitely plan to attend and cheer," I said. "It sounds interesting," Kangetsu-kun said with a strange laugh. "But that man is good because he is always sincere and not superficial. He is completely different from Meitei," the host said. Meitei-kun laughed, seemingly unconcerned, saying, "Well, I'm just a mere table of Gyotoku." "That's probably about right," the host said. In fact, the host did not understand the term 'Gyotoku no ita,' but having been a teacher for many years, he applies his classroom experiences to social situations like this. "What does 'Gyotoku no ita' mean?" Kangetsu asked seriously. The host looked at the floor and awkwardly changed the subject, saying, "That daffodil was something I bought and put in the vase on my way back from the bath during the New Year; it has lasted quite well, hasn't it?" "Speaking of New Year, I had a truly mysterious experience last New Year," Meitei said, twirling his pipe with his fingers. "What kind of experience? Please tell me," the host said, forcing himself to move on from 'Gyotoku no ita,' letting out a sigh of relief. Meitei-sensei's mysterious experience is as follows.