Four

by Natsume Sōseki

There was a night watch at the school, and the staff took turns fulfilling that role. However, Tanuki and Akashirt were exceptions. When I asked why these two were exempt from this obvious duty, they replied, "It's because of our special treatment." What a dull story. They receive high salaries and work fewer hours, yet escaping the night watch seems unfair. They create rules on their own and act as if it's the most natural thing in the world. Their audacity is simply astonishing.

Although I had complaints about this matter, according to Yama-arashi, it seems that nothing will change by complaining alone. Whether one person or two, the right thing should prevail. Yama-arashi began to preach by quoting the English phrase "might is right," but it seemed rather vague. When I asked for clarification, he said it means the rights of the strong. I've known about the rights of the strong since ancient times. There's nothing new to learn from Yama-arashi now. The rights of the strong and the night watch are separate issues. Who would acknowledge that Tanuki and Akashirt are the strong?

Putting the discussion aside, my turn for the night watch finally came. In fact, I have a nervous personality and cannot sleep peacefully unless it's on my own bedding. I hardly ever stayed over at friends' houses since childhood. If I dislike staying at a friend's house, I dislike the school night watch even more. However, since I'm receiving a salary of forty yen, there's no choice. I decided to endure and fulfill my duty.

After the teachers and students have gone home, feeling alone and dazed is quite a foolish feeling. The dormitory room is located at the western end of the boarding house behind the classroom. I went in a little, but the setting sun was shining directly in, making it uncomfortable. Since it's the countryside, it's still hot even in autumn. I ordered a meal for the students and finished dinner, but I was surprised by how bad it was. Having eaten that and still being able to run around energetically, it really is something impressive. I had my meal, but since the sun hasn't set yet, I can't go to sleep. I started to feel like going to the hot springs a bit. I'm not sure if it's good or bad to go outside while on duty, but I can't stand enduring this heavy feeling like this. When I first came to the school, I found it strange when the janitor said that the person on duty had gone out for a bit, but now that I'm in that position, I feel that going outside is the right thing to do.

When I told the janitor, "I'm going out for a bit," he asked, "Do you have something to do?" so I replied, "I have no business, I'm going to the hot springs," and quickly set out. It's a pity that I forgot my red hand towel at the dorm, but I’ll borrow one at the hot springs today.

After a while of coming and going slowly, just as the sun began to set, I took the train and got off at the station in the old town. It's four blocks to the school from here. As I started walking without any particular reason, a raccoon came from the other side. It seemed that the raccoon intended to go to the hot springs on this train. It approached quickly, and when we passed each other, it saw my face, so I greeted it a little. Then the raccoon asked with a serious face, "Wasn't it your duty today?" It's quite a strange thing to say, "Was it not?" Just two hours ago, didn't it say to me, "You have duty tonight. Thank you for your hard work"? Why does the principal use such twisted words?

I was angry and said, "Yes, I'm on duty. Since I'm on duty, there's no doubt that I'll be going home to stay." As I reached the corner of Tate-machi, I ran into Yama-arashi this time. It was quite a narrow place. If I went out, I would surely run into someone. When asked, "Aren't you on duty?" I replied, "Yeah, I'm on duty," and then they said, "Isn't it inconvenient for someone on duty to be wandering around?" I boasted, "Not at all inconvenient. It's more inconvenient not to go out." They remarked, "Your laziness is troubling. It would be a hassle if you ran into the principal or vice-principal," which was uncharacteristic of Yama-arashi. I replied, "I just met the principal. He said that if you don't take a walk during hot weather, being on duty can be tough, and he praised my walk." I found it bothersome and decided to head back to school quickly.

After that, the sun had completely set. For about two hours after it got dark, I had been calling the servant to the night watch room and talking, but I was gradually getting bored. Even though I couldn't sleep, I thought I would lie down, changed into my pajamas, lifted the mosquito net, tossed aside the red blanket, and plopped down on my back. The habit of plopping down on my back when going to sleep has been with me since childhood. I was told it was a bad habit, and when I was living in a boarding house in Ogawa-cho, a student from the law school who lived two floors below brought a complaint. Law students are weak but good with words, and they tend to ramble on about foolish things, so I retorted that the noise when going to sleep was not due to my backside but because the boarding house building was shabby. If you have a complaint, take it to the boarding house, I couldn't help but say back. This night watch room is not on the second floor, so it doesn't matter how hard I fall. Rather, if I don't fall with some force, it doesn't feel like I'm sleeping. Ah, how delightful, I stretched my legs out fully, and something jumped onto both of my legs. It was rough, and since it didn't feel like a flea, I was surprised and shook my legs a few times under the blanket. Then, the rough things suddenly began to increase, with five or six spots on my shins, two or three spots on my groin, and one that I squashed under my backside, and one that jumped up to my navel—this made me even more surprised. I immediately sat up, threw the blanket back, and from the futon, dozens of grasshoppers flew out. It was a bit creepy when I didn't know what they were, but when I realized they were grasshoppers, I suddenly got angry. How dare these grasshoppers scare me, what do they think they're doing? I suddenly picked up my pillow and threw it two or three times, but since the opponent was too small, even throwing it with force had no effect. With no other choice, I sat back on the futon and began to strike around randomly, like when I beat the tatami during the soot cleaning. The grasshoppers were startled.As I jumped up with the force of the pillow, it stuck to my shoulder, head, and the tip of my nose, or bumped into them. I couldn't hit the one that landed on my face with the pillow, so I grabbed it with my hand and threw it with all my might. Annoyingly, no matter how much strength I put into it, since it was hitting the mosquito net, it just floated away without any resistance. The grasshopper remained stuck in the mosquito net after being thrown. It showed no signs of dying. Finally, after about thirty minutes, I managed to get rid of the grasshopper. I brought a broom and swept out the grasshopper's corpse. When the servant came and asked, "What is it?" I scolded, "What do you mean, what is it? Who keeps a grasshopper in their room?" to which he replied, "I don't know." I threw the broom towards the porch and the servant cautiously carried the broom back.

I immediately called three dormitory students as representatives. Then six of them came out. Whether it was six or ten, it didn't matter. I rolled up my sleeves in my pajamas and began negotiations.

"Why did you let a grasshopper into my room?"

"What is a grasshopper?" one of them said first. He was unusually calm. It seems that in this school, not only the principal but even the students use twisted words.

“You don’t know what a grasshopper is? If you don’t, I’ll show you,” I said, but unfortunately, I had swept them all away, and there wasn’t a single one left. I called the servant and said, “Bring me the grasshoppers from earlier,” and he asked, “I already threw them away, but shall I go pick some up?” “Yes, go pick them up right away,” I said, and the servant hurried off. Eventually, he returned with about ten on a piece of washi paper and said, “I’m very sorry, but unfortunately, it’s night, and this is all I could find. I’ll bring more tomorrow.” Even the servant is foolish. I showed one grasshopper to the students and said, “This is a grasshopper. It has a big body, and what do you mean you don’t know what a grasshopper is?” The round-faced kid on the far left cheekily retorted, “That’s a locust, you know.” “You fool, locusts and grasshoppers are the same thing. First of all, what did you catch the teacher for? You don’t eat rice with vegetables except during dengaku,” I countered. He replied, “Locusts and rice with vegetables are different, you know.” He kept using “you know” no matter how long it went on.

“Whether it’s a locust or a grasshopper, why did you let it into my room? When did I ever ask you to bring me a grasshopper?”

“No one let it in.”

“If it wasn’t let in, then how is it in my room?”

“Locusts like warm places, so it probably came in by itself.”

“Don’t say such foolish things. A grasshopper can’t just come in by itself—there’s no way a grasshopper would come in by itself. Now, tell me why you did such a prank.”

“I can’t explain something that isn’t there, you know.”

They are stingy people. If they can't even admit to what they've done, they should have never done it in the first place. As long as there is no evidence, they plan to act brazenly, pretending not to know. Even when I was in middle school, I did some mischief. However, I never once acted cowardly when asked who did it. Those who did it did it, and those who didn't, didn't. As for me, no matter how much mischief I caused, I am innocent. If I had to lie to escape punishment, I would rather not have done the mischief at all. Mischief and punishment go hand in hand. Because there is punishment, mischief can be enjoyable. What kind of lowly mentality thinks that they can get away with mischief without punishment? Those who borrow money but refuse to pay it back must be the kind of people who will graduate to do jobs like these. What on earth are they doing in middle school? They enter school, lie, deceive, engage in petty, arrogant mischief behind the scenes, and then mistakenly believe that graduating means they have received an education. They are nothing but talkative foot soldiers.

I find it disgusting to negotiate with such rotten-minded people, so I said, "If you don't want to be told so, you don't have to listen. It's a pity that you can't distinguish between the refined and the vulgar after entering middle school," and sent the six of them away. Although my words and demeanor may not be very refined, I believe my heart is far more refined than theirs. The six of them withdrew leisurely. On the surface, they appear much more impressive than I do as a teacher. In reality, they are just calm, which is even worse. I certainly do not have such courage.

After that, I lay down on the floor again, but due to the earlier commotion, the mosquito net was buzzing loudly. I thought it would be troublesome to light a candle and burn them one by one, so I took off the fishing rod and swung the long folded one in a cross shape inside the room, and a ring flew in and struck the back of my hand painfully. By the time I got back on the floor for the third time, I was a bit calmer, but I still couldn't sleep well. When I looked at the clock, it was already half past ten. Thinking about it, I realized I had come to a troublesome place.

It's truly unfortunate that middle school teachers are troubled by such things no matter where they go. It's impressive how teachers never seem to run out of patience. It must take a considerable amount of endurance to manage. I could never do such a thing. When I think about it, Seikyo is truly admirable. She is an elderly woman without education or status, but as a human being, she is a very respectable presence. Until now, even though I had received so much care, I didn't particularly think it was difficult, but now that I have come to a distant country alone, I finally understand that kindness.

If you want to eat the Sasadama from Echigo, it's worth going all the way to Echigo to buy it and have it served to you. Seikyo praises me for being straightforward and having no greed, but the person who praises me is far more admirable than I am. Somehow, I feel like I want to see Seikyo.

While I was absentmindedly thinking about Seiryu, suddenly, the sound of about thirty students stomping on the floor echoed above me with enough force to make the second floor shake, and the rhythm of their footsteps grew louder. Then, in time with those footsteps, a loud cheer erupted. The moment I jumped up in surprise, I realized that the students were making a fuss as revenge for what had happened earlier. The bad things I had done would not disappear unless I apologized. They had done bad things too. Normally, one would regret after sleeping and come to apologize the next morning. Even if they didn't apologize, they should quietly go to sleep out of fear. Yet, what is this commotion? Are they suggesting I should build a dormitory and keep pigs? I wish they would keep their crazy antics to a minimum.

I decided to see what was happening, so I dashed out of the dormitory room in my pajamas and ran up the stairs to the second floor. Then, strangely, the noise that had been so chaotic just a moment ago suddenly fell silent, and all voices and footsteps disappeared. This is odd. The lamp had already been turned off, so it was dark and I couldn't see anything, but I could tell whether there were people around by the atmosphere. There wasn't a single mouse hiding in the long corridor. Moonlight streamed in from the end of the hallway, illuminating the distance brightly. Something feels off. Since childhood, I have often had the habit of dreaming, and I have been laughed at for suddenly waking up in a dream and saying nonsensical things. There was a night when I dreamed of picking up a diamond when I was around sixteen or seventeen, and I stood up abruptly and asked my brother who was nearby, "What happened to the diamond just now?" At that time, I became the laughingstock of the whole house for three days and was greatly embarrassed. Perhaps this is a dream too. However, as I pondered in the middle of the hallway that it was indeed a fact that there had been a commotion, I thought I heard the voices of about thirty people gathering again at the far end where the moonlight shone, and they began to stomp on the floor once more. "Look, it's not a dream; it's definitely reality." I shouted back, "Be quiet, it's the middle of the night," and ran down the hallway.

The path is dark. The only landmark is the moonlight visible at the edge. After running about two spaces, I bumped my shins against something hard in the middle of the hallway. The moment I thought, "Ouch," my body was thrown forward. "Damn it," I thought as I got up, but I could no longer run. My mind was anxious, but my legs wouldn't cooperate. Frustrated, I tried to hop on one foot, but the sounds of footsteps and voices had completely faded, as if I were in a forest. Humans can be cowardly, but not this cowardly. It's like a pig. At this point, I was determined not to back down until I dragged out whoever was hiding and made them apologize, so I tried to open one of the bedrooms to check inside, but it wouldn't open. Whether it was locked or if something like a desk was propped against it, no matter how much I pushed, it wouldn't budge.

I tried the room on the north side facing me this time, but it still wouldn't open. As I was getting anxious about catching the guy inside by opening the door, cheers and foot stomping started again at the eastern end. I thought, "This bastard is conspiring to mock me from both east and west," but I didn't know what to do. To be honest, I have courage but lack wisdom. I don't know what to do in times like this. However, I have no intention of losing. If this continues, it will affect my pride. It's unfortunate that people say Edoites lack guts. If I am on night duty and get teased by a snot-nosed brat, and it seems like I can't do anything about it and end up crying myself to sleep, it would ruin my reputation for life. After all, I am originally a hatamoto. The hatamoto lineage comes from the Seiwa Genji, a descendant of Tada no Michinaka. I am different from these dirt farmers by birth. It's just that I regret my lack of wisdom. It's just troublesome that I don't know what to do. Even if I'm troubled, I won't lose. Because I'm honest, I don't know what to do. Think about it: in this world, can honesty win, or is there something that wins outside of it? If I can't win tonight, I'll win tomorrow. If I can't win tomorrow, I'll win the day after tomorrow. If I can't win the day after tomorrow, I'll stay here until I win, ordering a bento from the boarding house. I made this resolution, so I sat cross-legged in the middle of the hallway waiting for dawn. Mosquitoes buzzed around, but it didn't bother me. When I stroked my shins that I had bumped earlier, they felt somewhat slimy. I must be bleeding. If blood wants to come out, it can do so freely. Eventually, the fatigue from earlier set in, and I dozed off.

It was so noisy that when I woke up, I jumped up and thought, "What the hell." The door on my right was half open, and two students were standing in front of me. Coming to my senses, I suddenly grabbed the foot of the student in front of me and pulled with all my strength, causing him to fall backward with a thud. "Serves you right." I lunged at the remaining one, who looked a bit flustered, and after pushing down on his shoulder and giving him a few jabs, he blinked in surprise. "Come on, let's go to my room," I said, and seeing he was a coward, he followed without hesitation. The night had long since broken.

As I began to interrogate the guy I brought to the dormitory room, the pig, being a pig whether hit or kicked, just acted oblivious and seemed determined to keep quiet. Meanwhile, one by one, students gradually gathered from the second floor to the dormitory room. Looking at them, they all appeared sleepy, rubbing their eyelids. What a bunch of cheapskates. Can you really call yourself a man when you can't even stay awake for one night without looking like that? I told them to wash their faces and come to argue, but no one went to wash their faces.

As I was engaged in a back-and-forth with more than fifty people for about an hour, a raccoon suddenly showed up. I later heard that the janitor had gone out of his way to inform the school about the commotion. Calling the principal over something like this shows a lack of guts. That's why he's just a janitor at a middle school.

After listening to my explanation, the principal also heard a bit of the students' side of the story. Then he said that until a decision was made regarding their punishment, they should continue coming to school as usual. He urged the boarders to hurry and wash their faces and eat breakfast, or they would be late. What kindness that is. If it were me, I would immediately expel the boarders. It's this kind of leisurely response that makes the students look down on the dormitory staff.

Moreover, he said to me, "You must be quite worried and tired as well. You can take the day off from class today." I replied, "No, I'm not worried at all. Even if this continues every night, as long as I have life, I won't be worried. I will hold class. If I can't hold class even after one night without sleep, I will return the salary I received to the school."

The principal stared at my face for a while, but eventually pointed out, "But your face is quite swollen." Indeed, it feels a bit heavy. On top of that, it is generally itchy. I must have been bitten by a lot of mosquitoes. While scratching my face all over, I replied, "No matter how much my face swells, I can certainly speak, so there will be no hindrance to the class."

The principal laughed and praised me, saying, "You are quite energetic." However, in reality, he was probably not praising me but teasing me.