Run, Melos! (2) (1)

by Osamu Dazai

Melos cried out that if he couldn't reach the castle, his dear friend would lose his life for him.

The raging torrent, as if mocking his cries, grew even wilder. Wave swallowed wave, churning and whipping, and time passed moment by moment. Melos had made up his mind. He had no choice but to swim across. Gods, please watch over him! Now was the time to show the power of love and sincerity that would not be defeated by this torrent. Melos plunged into the current with a splash and began to fight desperately against the waves that writhed like a hundred great snakes. He put all his strength into his arms, pushing through the swirling current, pushing and pushing, advancing with the fury of a lion. Perhaps even the gods felt pity for him, for they finally extended a helping hand. Though swept away, he managed to cling to the trunk of a tree on the opposite bank.

"Thank you," Melos said, shaking his body vigorously like a horse, and immediately hurried on. There was not a moment to waste. The sun was already beginning to set in the west. He climbed the pass, gasping for breath, and when he reached the top, a band of bandits suddenly appeared before him.

"Wait."

"What are you doing? I must go to the castle before the sun sets. Let me go."

"We won't let you. Leave all your belongings."

"I only have my life. And I will offer that life to the King from now on."

"It is that life we want."

"Could it be that you were waiting for me here by the king's command?"

The bandits said nothing and all raised their clubs at once. Melos twisted his body, leaped at one of them, and snatched his club.

“It’s a pity, but it’s for justice!” he cried, striking down three men with one blow, and while the remaining men faltered, he quickly ran down the mountain pass. He ran down the pass in one go, but exhaustion inevitably set in, and the scorching afternoon sun beat down directly on him. Melos felt dizzy many times and, realizing this wouldn't do, pulled himself together and staggered a few steps, but finally his knees buckled. He couldn't stand up. He looked up at the sky, and tears of regret streamed down his face.

“To be unable to move here, how pathetic. My beloved friend, simply because he trusted me, will soon lose his life. I am exactly playing into the king’s hands.” Even as he chastised himself, his whole body withered, and he couldn't move forward. He lay down on the roadside grass, the physical exhaustion affecting his spirit as well. “I don’t care anymore,” a reckless feeling, unbefitting a hero, nested in a corner of his heart.

“I have made such an effort. I had not the slightest intention of breaking my promise. Gods, I have strived with all my might. I have run until I could no longer move. I am not a man of disbelief. Oh, if only I could tear open my chest and show my crimson heart. I want to show this heart that beats only with the blood of love and fidelity. But at this crucial moment, my strength and spirit have completely run out. What an unfortunate man I am. Surely I will be laughed at. My family will be laughed at too. I deceived my friend. To collapse midway is the same as doing nothing from the start. Oh, I don’t care anymore. Perhaps this is my destiny.”

“Dionysius, forgive me. You always believed in me. I never deceived you either. We were truly good friends. Not once did a cloud of doubt enter our hearts. Even now, you must be waiting for me innocently. Oh, you must be waiting for me. Thank you, Dionysius. How well you believed in me. Thinking of that, it’s unbearable. For the fidelity between friends is the most boast-worthy treasure in this world.”

"Selinentius, I ran. I had no intention of deceiving you, not in the slightest. Believe me! I hurried all the way here. I broke through the rapids, escaped from the bandits' encirclement, and rushed down the mountain pass in one go. Only I could have done it. Oh, don't ask anything more of me. Leave me alone. It doesn't matter. I lost. How pathetic. Laugh at me. The king whispered to me to come a little late. He promised that if I was late, he would kill the substitute and save me. I hated the king's baseness. But now, it seems I'm doing exactly as the king said. I will be late. The king will laugh at me, thinking he's right, and release me without incident. If that happens, it will be more painful than death. I will be a traitor forever. The most dishonorable person on earth. Selinentius, I will die too. Let me die with you. You, at least, must believe me. No, is that just my self-delusion? Oh, perhaps I should just survive as a villain. I have a house in the village. I have sheep. My sister and her husband surely wouldn't drive me out of the village. Justice, sincerity, love... when you think about it, they're all trivial. Kill others and live yourself. Wasn't that the rule of the human world? Oh, everything is so ridiculous. I am an ugly traitor. Do whatever you please. It's over."

He threw out his limbs and dozed off, drifting into a light sleep.

Suddenly, a gentle gurgling sound of flowing water reached his ears. He slowly lifted his head and held his breath, listening intently. It seemed water was flowing at his feet. He shakily got up and saw clear water gushing from a crack in the rock. Drawn to the spring, Melos knelt down, scooped water with both hands, and took a sip. A long sigh escaped him, and he felt as if he had woken from a dream. He could walk. He would go. As his physical fatigue recovered, a faint hope emerged. It was the hope of fulfilling his duty. It was the hope of sacrificing himself to protect his honor. The setting sun cast red light upon the leaves of the trees, making both leaves and branches glow as if on fire. There was still time until sunset. Someone was waiting for him. He could not waste a single moment.