Chapter 1 — The Morning Everything Changed (Part 5)
von The Metamorphosis
“Can the chief clerk come in to see you now?”
His father’s voice came again, sharper this time.
Impatient.
Waiting.
Knocking once more.
Gregor didn’t hesitate.
“No.”
The word came out quickly.
Too quickly.
Flat.
And wrong.
Silence followed.
A heavy, uncomfortable silence.
From the right—
Nothing.
From the left—
A faint sound.
His sister.
Crying.
Soft at first.
Then breaking.
Gregor’s thoughts faltered.
“…Why is she crying?”
The question lingered.
Unanswered.
Why hadn’t she gone to the others?
Why was she still there?
Had she only just gotten up?
Was she still dressing?
Or—
Was it because of him?
Because he hadn’t opened the door?
Because he hadn’t gotten up?
Because—
He might lose his job?
And if that happened—
Everything would collapse.
The debt.
The pressure.
The responsibility.
All of it would come crashing down again.
“…No.”
Gregor forced the thought away.
“That’s not happening.”
Not yet.
He was still here.
Still thinking.
Still trying.
And he had no intention—
None at all—
Of abandoning his family.
For now—
He remained on the floor.
Still.
Breathing.
Anyone who truly understood his situation—
Would never expect him to open that door.
Not like this.
Not now.
At worst—
It was a minor offense.
A small breach of manners.
Something that could be explained later.
Fixed.
Justified.
This wasn’t something he could be fired for.
It couldn’t be.
“…It makes more sense to leave me alone.”
That was the logical choice.
The reasonable one.
But—
They didn’t know.
They couldn’t know.
They didn’t understand what was happening.
They only knew something was wrong.
And that made them afraid.
That fear—
That uncertainty—
It excused them.
Even now.
Even in this moment.
Then—
The chief clerk spoke again.
Louder.
More forceful.
“Mr. Samsa.”
The voice cut through everything.
“What is going on?”
A pause.
“You lock yourself in your room…”
“You give us nothing but short answers…”
“You cause concern to your parents…”
“And you fail—”
A slight emphasis.
“—to fulfill your duties.”
Each word hit harder than the last.
“This is unacceptable.”
Gregor clenched himself.
“I’m speaking on behalf of your employer…”
“And your family.”
“I require a clear explanation.”
The tone shifted.
Colder.
Sharper.
“I am… astonished.”
A pause.
“I believed you to be a reliable and sensible man.”
“And now—”
Another pause.
“You behave like this.”
Something changed in Gregor at that moment.
A snap.
A break.
“Sir!”
He shouted.
The words rushed out of him.
Desperate.
Uncontrolled.
“I’ll open the door—immediately! Just—just a moment!”
His thoughts spilled over each other.
“I’m not well—I felt dizzy—I couldn’t get up—”
“I’m still in bed—but I’m better now—really—”
“I’m getting up—right now—”
The words tumbled out faster.
Louder.
“I’ll catch the next train—eight o’clock—I’ll be there—”
“Just don’t—please—don’t make this worse—”
“I’ve never neglected my duties—never—”
He kept talking.
Barely aware of what he was saying.
Trying to fix everything at once.
Trying to hold everything together.
And while he spoke—
He moved.
Slowly.
Toward the chest of drawers.
He had practiced this already.
In bed.
Now—
He used that experience.
He pushed.
Shifted.
Lifted himself.
Trying to stand.
He needed to open the door.
Needed to face them.
Needed to prove—
Something.
Anything.
“If they see me…”
A thought surfaced.
“If they’re shocked…”
Then it wouldn’t be his responsibility anymore.
It would be real.
Undeniable.
But—
“If they stay calm…”
Then maybe—
Maybe—
Everything could still be fixed.
That thought drove him forward.
Again.
And again.
Until—
He managed it.
He stood.
Barely.
Unstable.
Pain spread through his body.
But he ignored it.
Now—
The door.
He moved toward it.
Slow.
Careful.
Deliberate.
Then—
The key.
He stared at it.
“…How do I turn this?”
No hands.
No fingers.
Only—
His mouth.
His jaw.
He hesitated—
Then committed.
He bit down.
Hard.
The metal pressed against him.
He turned.
Slowly.
Straining.
Something warm—
Wet—
Dripped from his mouth.
Dark.
Thick.
It ran down the key.
Fell to the floor.
He didn’t stop.
He couldn’t.
“Listen—”
The chief clerk’s voice, tense now.
“He’s turning the key.”
Gregor pushed harder.
Ignored the pain.
Ignored everything.
And then—
A click.
The lock released.
Gregor exhaled.
“…I didn’t need the locksmith after all.”
He leaned forward.
Pressed against the door.
And pushed.
Slowly—
Carefully—
The door opened.
Just a little.
Then more.
And more.
But he couldn’t step through yet.
He had to turn.
His body—
Wide.
Heavy.
Awkward.
He moved slowly.
Carefully.
Trying not to fall.
And then—
He was visible.
At first—
Just part of him.
Half his body.
Then—
More.
And more.
Until—
They saw him.
Fully.
Completely.
A sound.
From the chief clerk.
“—Oh!”
It wasn’t a word.
Not really.
More like—
Wind leaving a body.
Shock.
Pure shock.
Gregor looked at him.
The man stood closest to the door.
Hand over his mouth.
Stepping back.
Slowly.
As if something invisible was pushing him away.
His mother—
She had been standing there.
Watching.
Trying to understand.
And then—
She collapsed.
Her body sank into itself.
Her arms folded.
Her head dropped.
Gone.
His father—
Stood rigid.
Fists clenched.
Then—
Confusion.
Fear.
He covered his face.
And wept.
Gregor didn’t move forward.
He stayed where he was.
Half inside.
Half outside.
Leaning against the door.
Watching them.
Watching everything fall apart.
Outside—
The world continued.
Morning light grew stronger.
Across the street—
A gray building.
A hospital.
Rows of windows.
Cold.
Silent.
Rain still fell.
Heavy drops now.
One by one.
Inside—
Breakfast remained on the table.
Untouched.
Too much food.
Always too much.
His father’s habit.
Eating slowly.
Reading newspapers.
Taking his time.
On the wall—
A photograph.
Gregor.
In uniform.
A lieutenant.
Standing straight.
Smiling.
Confident.
Respected.
That person—
Didn’t exist anymore.
Gregor shifted slightly.
Tried to speak again.
Calmer now.
Controlled.
“Now… I’ll get dressed…”
“I’ll pack my samples…”
“I’ll go to work…”
He looked at the chief clerk.
“You’ll report accurately… right?”
His voice steadied.
Trying.
Desperately.
“I’m not stubborn… I just want to work…”
“Traveling is hard… but I do it…”
“I have to…”
“My family depends on me…”
His thoughts aligned.
Focused.
“Please…”
“Don’t make this worse…”
But—
The chief clerk was already moving.
Backing away.
Step by step.
Eyes fixed.
Lips trembling.
And then—
He turned.
And ran.